Inbetween all the schedules and busyness, have you ever realised that you are always trying to market to, or sell your child/ren something – an idea, a value, a point of view, an action to be taken etc:

• It’s time for bed – NOW!
• Studying for a test IS a good idea.
• Pack your bags tonight for tomorrow.
• Carrots make you see better in the dark.
• There is no monster sleeping under your bed.
• Don’t let the dog lick your mouth – you’ll get worms!
• Sex is only for adults !!!!
• You are a gorgeous, talented individual. There is no-one quite like you.
• I love you to the moon and stars and back (even though you just nearly drove me round the bend!).

With this generation, authority does work (sometimes), particulary in the early years when “because I am your parent and I said so” still has some magical power to it, or if you have actively positioned yourself as a hero in your child’s life story. But, as children get older there is a tendency for them to either think or, even worse, verbalise “Says Who?” or “Who cares anyway?”. Living in a reward-based culture as we do, where it’s so commonplace for us to be rewarded for swiping our credit cards, being loyal to the same airline, store or restaurant, visiting the gym etc, our children could be forgiven for thinking: “If they want me to do this, what’s in it for me, what do I get?”

This is a very real challenge for 21st century parents. Of course the desired end result after years of parenting is for our children to be intrinsically motivated or self-motivated rather than relying on some form of external bribe etc. But, from time-to-time, it may be necessary to utilise various “marketing tactics” to get the message across to your child in a fun and playful way, or to get their buy-in until it becomes an adopted habit, value, thought or behaviour pattern.

You are in marketing and sales whether you like it or not! I know this fact wasn’t highlighted when you committed to becoming a parent, neither was it detailed in the fine print, but it’s true. Star charts, treats, promises and bribes are all in a parent’s marketing arsenal – to be used wisely, of course. And do watch what the marketers are doing – you could pick up an idea or two to add to your toolkit. Try these “promotions” for size, my kids loved them:

• Two for the price of one, eg. “Keep your room tidy for X weeks without being nagged and I won’t just take you for a milkshake but you can bring a friend along too”.
• Buy one, get one free, eg “Unpack your school bags / hang up your towel for a week without being asked and I’ll make you your favourite pudding on Friday night and you get to choose Friday night’s game / movie!”
• While stocks last promotion, eg “Get your homework done before the clock strikes 5pm, otherwise the offer of a game of Wii / or a game with me, runs out”.

Have fun and make it memorable.

NIKKI BUSH

Nikki & Mel

Nikki will appear on the first episode of M-Net’s stylish new talk show for women, by women, about women called Let’s Chat with Mel.  It’s full of excitement, laughter, entertainment, advice, real life stories and a whole lot more.  Mel and Nikki are discussing building a family brand and Parenting on the Run.  The show runs from 8 – 9pm on the M-Net Series channel.

• To GAP IT by escaping into some fabulous novels. Reading is a wonderful escape for me even though I read a lot from a work perspective. Stories are not just for children, adults love them too – whether they are the written variety or movies.
• To GET TO THE CINEMA, something I really battle to fit in during the year, as well as to a pantomime for a good laugh.
• To play GAMES with my children every day as it’s so much fun and just a great way to reconnect with each other.
• To be a GODDESS IN THE KITCHEN. I love cooking and baking, and this is the time of year when I have time to try out new recipes.

More than anything December is for spending quality time with my family, unhurried time to just be with each other, to observe my children, to absorb where they are at, to chat, to laugh and to play. Christmas arrived early this December when we acquired two new puppies – a promise we made to our children many months ago – and how loved these two furry friends already are in the short space of just two weeks.

Wishing you love and laughter this season. My office will re-open on 13 January 2010.

NIKKI BUSH

During the next few crazy weeks of the year, do remember to make time to connect with your child through play. Whether it’s a quick 10 minute game or a 30 minute one, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you want to share the play space with your child for a while. Play is the universal language of childhood and my belief is that it feeds all the other love languages that Gary Chapman details in his book, The Five Love Languages (well worth a read). Play is:

• an act of service (you are fulfilling your child’s need to play)
• can involve physical touch
• includes words of affirmation (you can encourage and praise)
• a gift (of your time)
• an example of quality time (when you are focused and present)

So, come and experience some of the “bridge-builders” that I am recommending this Toy Talk™ season. It is the most playful and informative shopping extravaganza of the year. Email me at nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za  to book your seat.

There are lots of great toys and games on the market at the moment, you just need to know what to look for and where to find them. That’s what Toy Talk is all about! 

Don’t waste money this gifting season, make wise purchases after you have had a “see, touch, feel” of what I am recommendng at Toy Talk™.  As a professional toy judge and and educational game designer msyelf, I look at toys very differently to a retailer. Toy Talk is a fun and informative experience.  You’ll also be able to do some of your Christmas shopping  too. Credit card facilities available.

SUMMARY OF TOY TALK

They’re everywhere from cheap Chinese junk, to expensive brands such as Fisher Price, Barney, Ben 10 and Bratz. From Lego and Meccano to battery-operated, winking, blinking, noisy toys, Playstation, Wii and computer games.

 Is there still value in jungle gyms, pot, pans, wooden spoons and the Tupperware cupboard? Do children need toys? What categories of toys are there? How do children learn? Why is play so important? What are the classic toys every child needs? What’s new on the market? Where do electronic toys fit in? How to select a toy, and more. Armed with a little bit of knowledge about toys and how children learn, this fun, interactive workshop will enable you to make better choices for your child and will make shopping for games and toys a piece of cake.

Toy Talk is a presented by Nikki Bush and Justine Heydra who are both toy judges on the professional panel of the SA Toy of the Year Awards, as well as being educational game designers. They are absolutely passionate about play not only because it is fun, but because it is such an effective way of connecting with your child. Nikki is well-known for her recommendations on appropriate toys and games to buy for your children. If you want to know what’s on her list – both the classics for each age group as well as what’s hot right now, then join us for Toy Talk 2009. Suitable for parents from birth to age 12.

DATES OF WORKSHOPS: 

• Friday, 23 October 2009, 9.00am – 12pm
• Saturday, 24 October 2009, 9am – 12pm
• Saturday, 7 November 2009, 9am – 12pm
• Monday, 9 November 2009, 9am – 12pm
• Tuesday, 10 November 2009, 9am – 12pm

All above dates at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston, GAUTENG

COST: R175.00 per head

Bookings:

nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

However, you can still get the Thomas version of the same game, Thomas’ Shape Station Game from me or in any of the stores mentioned above. Once again, stock is limited. Both games retail at R199.00.

My publisher, Metz Press, has confirmed that 4 000 copies of my new book, Easy Answers to Awkward Questions (co-authored with Ilze van der Merwe) have been sold in just 3 months! I am thrilled with this figure which includes both English and Afrikaans versions. Wilsia Metz is taking the book to the Frankfurt Book Fair in Germany in this month, so hold thumbs!

If you would like to place an order for any of the following, please click here nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za  now:

• Future-proof Your Child (R140.00)
• Easy Answers to Awkward Questions (R125.00)
• Maklike Antwoorde vir Ongemaklike Vrae (R125.00)
• Thomas’ Shape Station Game (R199.00)
• Indahoo (R150.00)
• Sketch-a-Story (R199.00)
• Fun on the Run Box™ 3 – 6 years (R160.00)
• Fun on the Run Box™ 6 – 12 years R160.00)

** Please note, for out of town deliveries additional postage/delivery charges apply.

While gardening, I received a little lesson in focusing, and being ‘present’, something I talk about often in my workshops. The universe decided to play a practical joke on me on one of my gardening days – my email went down – not for a few minutes, not for an hour, but for the entire day! There was no such thing as taking a quick peek at emails in between pruning, planting, splitting and dividing my plants, trees and shrubs. To begin with, it stressed me out, and then I reminded myself why I was gardening in the first place – for ME, to give myself time out, to slow down and play.  It really has been fun and incredibly therapeutic, and my garden is positively glowing.

So, the lesson for the month is that whatever you really focus on and pay positive attention to, will flourish and grow. When we do this to our children it’s like pouring fertilizer and water all over them! And, just like gardens, we need to constantly prune and shape our children as they grow.

NIKKI BUSH

Creative parenting expert, inspirational speaker and author

nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Zingo is essentially a Bingo/Lotto-type game which requires observation and matching skills.  The more proficient your child gets in spotting what he/she needs to cover his / her board, the more competitive the game becomes.

Perfect for 4 – 6 year olds.  Seven and eight year olds continue to enjoy the game with their younger siblings.  Up to 6 players can play at a time.