Article written by Nikki Bush as it appeared in the remedial and special education magazine REMSPECED in the April/May 2007 issue:

We live in a society that is hell bent on perfection – the perfect figure, the perfect outfit, the perfect car, house, boyfriend, wife, the whitest Smile, perfect children and the list goes on. As consumers we demand goods of the highest quality and we will be the first to complain if they are not. We are surrounded by images of society’s take on perfection and we often don’t quite make the grade so we commit ourselves to the pursuit of chasing perfection. This is all well and good until we become parents and we are knocked sideways by sleepless nights, babies that won’t eat, childhood illnesses, two-year old tantrums, three-year old wannabes, feisty four-year olds and belligerent adolescents. Lots of less than perfect situations, which often show up how out of control things can get and may reflect badly on our “perfect image”!

Life is not perfect, in fact real life has moments real of guts and gore – physically and emotionally. Things don’t always go right and we are not permanently happy. Life is a journey, not a destination, and we often need to stay on the floor for long enough to learn the lessons before dusting ourselves off, getting up and moving on again. We have to get this notion of perfection out of our heads and replace it with the word ‘workable’. Workable is much more forgiving and attainable, and will lead to less disappointment especially as we live our lives on the run today. Workable is doing what is able to be done, working within more realistic parameters, combining the head and heart.

Our preoccupation with perfection has its place in certain instances, but not everything needs to be of the highest standard. Sometimes near enough is good enough, unless you are a parachute maker or a manufacturer of condoms, says Michael Grose, parenting author and guru, in his book Working Parents.

For those of us with children in therapy we are called to be patient and tolerant as our children display their “imperfections” everyday – at home or in the classroom. Remember that the aim of therapy is first and foremost, to create functionality in a certain area where your child is challenged or experiencing difficulty. Once functionality has been achieved only then does your child’s therapist start working on the quality or grading of the child’s performance. In many instances often near enough is good enough and you will notice what a huge difference these improvements make to your child mentally, physically and emotionally, even though they are not perfect. These achievements are to be celebrated and deeply appreciated for they are the result of a huge amount of effort and teamwork. When a child overcomes a difficulty it can be so rewarding to the entire family who have invested themselves in the therapy, in the reinforcement that takes place through exercises at home as well as their emotional encouragement and support for the child who is in therapy.

Having children in therapy gives us an opportunity to take stock and realise that there is unbelievable beauty even when little bodies and brains don’t work as perfectly as they should. If we can see our children’s challenges as opportunities to grow ourselves on every level, then we soon realise that the road to “near enough is good enough” is well worth the journey!

Doing reinforcement exercises with your child at home provides you with quality time and a wonderful window of opportunity to connect with your child in ways other parents don’t. Use the time to get to know your child’s personality better. It’s a time to encourage and show how much you believe in your child, laying down the foundations for the personal qualities of self-belief, good self-esteem and perseverance. Children who have been handled positively in therapy by both the therapist and the family often become extremely resilient, one of the most important prerequisites for a successful life in the 21st century. I wish you patience (for all good things take time), perseverance and wisdom on your journey to “workable”. And remember that most of the time, near enough is good enough.