• They will respect you

• They will enjoy being in your company

• They will stop pestering you so much to do things with you because you have taken control and are being proactive in this regard.

So, during the very long Soccer World Cup school holidays, take a few minutes every second day to create a “making fun out of nothing experience” which also doubles up as a connection experience between you and your child. Inspire your child by being fun to be with.

WEEK 2

Here are three ideas for this week which are simple to do and don’t require much in the way of specialised equipment or ingredients.

EEZI PEEZI PAPER PUZZLES

Making their own puzzles is a fantastic and inexpensive way of keeping children busy and entertained because they can make as many as they like, and they get to choose their own pictures too. Any bold and colourful picture will do the trick, whether from magazines or personal photographs printed out on the computer. The number of pieces and size of the pieces you decide to make will depend on the age of the child.

You will need:

• 1 large photo or magazine picture (A4 or A5 is best)

• Cardboard (just normal school project cardboard)

• Glue

• Ruler

• Pencil/pen/khoki

• Scissors (blunt nose for preschoolers)

What to do:

1. Stick the picture onto the piece of cardboard so that the cardboard forms a frame around the picture.

2. Using the ruler and pencil/pen/khoki draw cut lines onto the picture (please do this for, or help the under 6’s).

3. For 2 and 3 year olds cut the pictures into two and four pieces. You can cut them into smaller pieces as your child masters the puzzle. A six year old should be able to do at least a 24 piece puzzle for school readiness. As you are working off photographic material here the level of difficulty is higher than if you were working off a clear children’s puzzle picture. Click here for a puzzle age-ability guideline.

4. As you child masters the use of scissors and cutting accurately along a line, he/she can cut out the puzzle themselves (should be able to do this sometime between 4 and 5 years of age).

5. Make the activity more challenging for older children by cutting up the puzzles into more pieces or irregular shapes that fit together. This then becomes more of a problem solving, brain-teaser type activity.

STICK PUPPETS

Now here’s creativity on the run. Next time your children have ice-creams or ice-lollies, keep the sticks (or ask you GP for a couple of tongue depressors at the next visit, pharmacies stock them too). With a few khoki pens you can create some really fun stick puppets in just a minute or two. No gluing, no sewing, no cutting.

You will need:

• Wooden ice lolly sticks / tongue depressors

• Khoki pens

What to do:

1. Give the ice lolly sticks a good wash and let them dry completely. No need to do so with unused tongue depressors.

2. Take your khoki pens and draw eyes, nose and mouth, using different facial expressions on each stick. Add details such as hair, glasses, a necklace or a tie, etc. (older children can do all this themselves, parents of preschools will have to get more involved).

3. If you have enough sticks you can create your family for your child to play with, or a bunch of characters for a little play. Write the names of the characters on the back of the puppets to help the puppeteer.

MARSHMALLOW SANDWICHES

Surprise your children with a fascinating, no-bake treat. They will just love watching you create these Marshmallow Sandwiches. Do try one first so that you can judge when they are cool enough to eat.

You will need:

• Marie biscuits

• Marshmallows

• Microwave oven

• Microwaveable plate

What to do:

1. Place a marshmallow on the centre of a Marie Biscuit on a plate in the microwave oven. Cook on high for just a few seconds – watch it the whole time! The marshmallow will balloon and will almost reach the diameter of the biscuit.

2. Remove from the microwave and place a second Marie Biscuit on top. Squeeze gently to make a sandwich with a gooey centre.

3. Eat while still gooey but not hot enough to burn the mouth.

Have fun!

For more ideas of games to play with your child these holidays, click here for Nikki Bush’s Top 20 recommendations and here for Week 1 of Making Fun Out of Nothing ideas.

By MANDY COLLINS, published in True Love magazine, March 2010

Phindi (43) has found her daughter’s transition from child to teenager particularly difficult. “Bebe was always such a sweet, obedient child,” she says. “And overnight she became this completely different person. I can deal with the tantrums and the moodiness, but it’s the endless chatting on MXit I can’t take. She has so little to say to anyone at home, but she has plenty to say on MXit.”

Dineo (41) had a similar experience with daughter, Kutlwano, but she decided to be pro-active. “I signed up for Facebook and MXit,” she comments. “And if I find out she’s registered on Twitter, I’ll have to sign up there too! It’s been a bit of a learning curve for me, but at least I have some idea of what’s going on with her. I couldn’t think of any other way to keep tabs on her.”

It’s a dilemma many parents face with teenagers in particular. Given how non-communicative many of them become, how does one keep an eye on who they are talking to, who their friends are, what they’re up to? And where does one draw the line in terms of respecting their privacy?

After all, ask any parent of a child who committed suicide or got into some sort of serious trouble whether they wish they’d gone through that child’s diary or room, and the answer you’ll get will probably be a resounding ‘Yes!’ from all of them.

Creative parenting expert and co-author of Future-proof Your Child (Penguin, R143) Nikki Bush says it’s vital that parents engage with their children, and that they know what is going on in their children’s lives. “We cannot give up control,” she emphasises. “And we have to remember that children want boundaries – boundaries make them feel safe and secure. And when they push those boundaries, it’s because they’re trying to establish where they are. Behaviour that attracts your attention is there for a reason.”

Get to grips with the technology

Nikki says technology is a major problem for 21st Century parents, because it bewilders many of us and we tend to hand over control to our children as a result. “It’s our responsibility to understand the technology and remain relevant,” she comments, “even when we feel out of our depth.”

That’s exactly what Dineo has done, and in addition, she says she has no compunction at all about checking her daughter’s cell phone from time to time to see who she’s been SMSing and what messages she’s been receiving. “I’ve told her I’ll be checking, but I don’t give her any warning,” she says. “So far, I haven’t found anything, thank goodness. I might not be so quick to check her diary or journal if she had one, but if I was concerned about something in particular, I would probably even check that.”

Nikki feels you’re well within your rights to do this. “Tell them: ‘I’m your mother/father, I own the technology you’re using, and I have the right to know how you’re using it.’ We are not supposed to be our children’s best friends – we are the parents. We dare not be their mates until they have left home as young adults. They must know that there is authority in the home.

“As parents, it’s our job to have eyes and ears all round. We need to develop a sixth sense when things go awry. Some might call that spying, but others call it concern.”

Relationships matter

The issue, she says, is not so much whether or not you are spying on your child, but how good your relationship with that child is. “The whole thing rests on relationship,” she comments. “If you have a good, open relationship, your insistence on knowing what your child is doing will not be seen as spying, it will be seen as concern. And if you haven’t developed that relationship, consciously built togetherness, by the time they’re 14, it’s too late.”

She adds that buying the best of everything for our children is not a substitute for parenting; something many of us forget in the midst of the busy lives that we lead. “We trade time for a screen,” she points out. “We give them carte blanche to live a virtual reality. And in homes where parents don’t actively play with children, those children’s default setting becomes a screen, and that’s what they revert to when them are bored, or feeling lonely.”

Danger, beware!

The problem is that what might seem like innocent technology – cell phones, the Internet, even cartoon TV channels – have many hidden dangers, some so subtle that they are very difficult to detect. “We live in a plug and play world,” comments Nikki. “And we no longer introduce the world to our kids – it comes to them. Our role is to be a mediator and facilitator in that process. It cannot be unsupervised.”

In this regard, she suggests switching on whatever Internet safety filters are available to you; blocking undesirable channels if you have pay-TV, becoming a member on MXit and Facebook (“It makes them far less cool!” she remarks) and checking the history of the websites they visit from time to time.

“It’s your right, and it’s part of protecting them,” says Nikki. “We need to raise kids who are media-savvy, and part of that is learning that not everything they are exposed to is good for them. We need to teach them that.”

What you need to know

It’s vital that you know what your kids are doing, how often they’re doing it, and with whom. But as important, is the content of what they’re doing, particularly when it comes to gaming.

Games are not as well regulated as they could be, and many have children doing things in cyberspace that you would never ever permit.

“What many parents don’t realise is that when the soundtrack on a game has a beat that is greater than the child’s heart rate, the thinking brain shuts down after a few minutes, and the content of the game goes into the limbic system – the part of the brain that governs our emotions, beliefs and values.

“We need to be the gatekeepers of what our children are exposed to. We need to get a sense of who our kids are connected with, who they’re talking to. And we need to be vigilant without seeming to be so.”

Cybernannies

Parents are giving up more and more control – how many of us are happy to switch on the TV just so we can have a few minutes of peace? “And that’s okay occasionally,” says Nikki, “But in the holidays, some kids are watching more than seven hours of TV a day, because their parents are at work and not able to monitor their screen time.

“And nannies, au pairs and babysitters do the same thing when they’re tired. In the process, children may be exposed to a lot of inappropriate stuff. Kids aged seven to 12 are bombarded with around 5 000 marketing messages a week – are you there to mediate the conversation?”

Conscious parenting

The key is to be conscious, to be fully present when you’re with your children, and not distracted by the everyday busyness of your own life. Switch off the car radio; don’t multitask while they’re talking to you. Try and have at least one meal a day where the family eats together and has a conversation.

“The Youth Dynamix YouthTrax survey showed that 16- to 24-year-olds say family is still their primary role model,” says Nikki, “Family is the only place where they know they are loved for who they are. And it is so important that we understand that kids want quality time with us.”

We also need to be on the alert for any behavioural changes. “If something does change, don’t get hysterical,” says Nikki. “Stay calm, lower your voice, and let the child know you’re serious, even though they will try to provoke you sometimes.”

She suggests counteracting high-tech with high-touch; in other words, building good relationships with your children, and starting when they’ve very young, so that they trust you over and above all the many other messages they receive.

“You need to position yourself as a hero in your child’s life story,” concludes Nikki. “If you don’t, someone else will. Use technology to your advantage, and get the best out of it – for your children’s sake.”

Inbetween all the schedules and busyness, have you ever realised that you are always trying to market to, or sell your child/ren something – an idea, a value, a point of view, an action to be taken etc:

• It’s time for bed – NOW!
• Studying for a test IS a good idea.
• Pack your bags tonight for tomorrow.
• Carrots make you see better in the dark.
• There is no monster sleeping under your bed.
• Don’t let the dog lick your mouth – you’ll get worms!
• Sex is only for adults !!!!
• You are a gorgeous, talented individual. There is no-one quite like you.
• I love you to the moon and stars and back (even though you just nearly drove me round the bend!).

With this generation, authority does work (sometimes), particulary in the early years when “because I am your parent and I said so” still has some magical power to it, or if you have actively positioned yourself as a hero in your child’s life story. But, as children get older there is a tendency for them to either think or, even worse, verbalise “Says Who?” or “Who cares anyway?”. Living in a reward-based culture as we do, where it’s so commonplace for us to be rewarded for swiping our credit cards, being loyal to the same airline, store or restaurant, visiting the gym etc, our children could be forgiven for thinking: “If they want me to do this, what’s in it for me, what do I get?”

This is a very real challenge for 21st century parents. Of course the desired end result after years of parenting is for our children to be intrinsically motivated or self-motivated rather than relying on some form of external bribe etc. But, from time-to-time, it may be necessary to utilise various “marketing tactics” to get the message across to your child in a fun and playful way, or to get their buy-in until it becomes an adopted habit, value, thought or behaviour pattern.

You are in marketing and sales whether you like it or not! I know this fact wasn’t highlighted when you committed to becoming a parent, neither was it detailed in the fine print, but it’s true. Star charts, treats, promises and bribes are all in a parent’s marketing arsenal – to be used wisely, of course. And do watch what the marketers are doing – you could pick up an idea or two to add to your toolkit. Try these “promotions” for size, my kids loved them:

• Two for the price of one, eg. “Keep your room tidy for X weeks without being nagged and I won’t just take you for a milkshake but you can bring a friend along too”.
• Buy one, get one free, eg “Unpack your school bags / hang up your towel for a week without being asked and I’ll make you your favourite pudding on Friday night and you get to choose Friday night’s game / movie!”
• While stocks last promotion, eg “Get your homework done before the clock strikes 5pm, otherwise the offer of a game of Wii / or a game with me, runs out”.

Have fun and make it memorable.

NIKKI BUSH

Lawrence J. Cohen, Playful Parenting (Ballantine, 2001)

Dear Clients and Colleagues 

Today, Saturday, 28 May 2009, is World Play Day – a reminder of a child’s right to play (the Right to Play and Recreation is part of the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, Article 31). Celebrate the power and possibilities of play everyday – after all play is the language of childhood and play is absolutely FREE.

As we move through our daily lives with vision and purpose, with our action lists and tight schedules, don’t forget to be light and playful with your children. When you are playful you unlock your child, and you relax a the same time. When you come in from a busy time, at work or otherwise, you could try playing Dead Ants, a “silly little game” that has the power to change the mood and shift the energy for everyone. When you shout “Dead Ants!”, everyone must lie down immediately on their backs on the floor, kicking their legs and shaking their arms in the air (continue for 30 seconds or so). It’s a real laugh and it will put a smile on everyone’s face immediately, making it easier to bridge the gap beyond your busyness and the daily rush.

Sometimes silly little games are the perfect antidote to adult seriousness. They are a playful, non-verbal way of saying: “I’m here, I’m home and I want to be with you!”

MY NEW BOOK – EASY ANSWERS TO AWKWARD QUESTIONS

You can look forward to the arrival of my new book sometime in June. Easy Answers to Awkward Questions: what 8 – 13 year olds need to know about their changing bodies, sex, babies, their rights and more……… I will drop you a line as soon as I have a firm date and a list of bookstores and other retail outlets who will be stocking it. It will be published in both English and Afrikaans by Metz Press.

TALKS AND WORKSHOPS

April and May were extremely busy! I had the privilege of addressing groups of parents and educators in Gauteng, KZN, Cape Town and Knysna. Thank you to you all for your enthusiasm for my work. Your positive feedback has been very moving. Due to numerous corporate and school bookings this month I will only be presenting two public workshops in June.

Nuts & Bolts Workshop

Thursday, 18 June 2009, 9am – 12pm Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston, GAUTENG

Cost: R300 per head

Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

(A minimum of 10 delegates up to a maximim of 40. Payment secures your seat.)

 A fun, interactive workshop covering the specific perceptual skills your child needs to acquire within the first six years of life in order to be ready for school. Get dozens of ideas to help you be really creative with your classic toys such as: shape sorters, stackers, threading and pegging games, matching and association games, puzzles, gross motor equipment, construction toys etc.

This workshop takes parents well beyond what’s in the instruction leaflets. Parents are encouraged to put their own stamp on their child’s play experiences by using their imagination, adding love letters, breaking the rules and combining games in order to create more games! Come prepared to play.

Parenting on the Run Workshop

Saturday, 20 June 2009 9am – 12pm Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston, GAUTENG

Cost: R300 per head

Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

 (A minimum of 10 delegates up to a maximim of 40. Payment secures your seat.)

Parents today are busy. Being able to parent creatively – on the run – makes your parenting journey easier and much more fun. In this talk, creative parenting expert and author, Nikki Bush, introduces the concept of cheating time and turning the ordinary into the extraordinary, helping parents to give away the guilt they so often feel.

She will show you how time spent in the car; doing household chores and activities or waiting for appointments, can be so valuable to both you and your child – it is never a waste of time! This insightful talk is peppered with personal anecdotes and you will leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converted wasted time with your children into quality time.

Nikki will also include her ever-popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run. Connecting and communicating your child can be so easy, even for busy parents.

Keep on playing with your precious children. It’s good for everyone.

Kind regards

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

083 265 5754

nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

www.brightideasoutfit.com

Nikki Bush, creative parenting expert and author, explores what you need to know about tomorrow’s world and what you need to do to prepare today’s children for a world that doesn’t yet exist. The focus is on understanding the future, creating appropriate structures and developing characteristics in your children (and yourself) that will help them face anything that life might throw at them. Raising children who will “be talent” is to raise children who are going to have what it takes not just to survive this new world, but who will be able to shape and influence it too. To be successful in the future, our children need to be “future-proofed” by influential adults (primarily their parents and teachers) in the foundation phase of their lives – from birth to age 10 – before they enter puberty.

This thought provoking multimedia presentation will introduce you to the X-factors required for success in 2020 and beyond, providing many practical ideas to help children to develop them from an early age. It will highlight the critical importance of making choices, having conversations and choosing to consciously connect with tomorrow’s children today.

This presentation has been developed by Nikki Bush and Dr Graeme Codrington who have co-authored the book Future-proof Your Child, due for release by Penguin on 1 October 2008. 

“Play is the foundation of creative intelligence, but like any intelligence it must be developed, in keeping with nature’s model imperative. The child who is played with will learn to play. The child who is not played with will be unable to play and be at risk on every level.” Joseph Chilton Pearce, Evolution’s End (1993)

Since my last newsletter I have become the mother of a teenager! My son Ryan turned 13 this month and now towers well over an inch above me and has a size 11 shoe (yes, his dad is 6ft5” tall!). My wired son now sms’s the landline to tell me when he is in bed and ready to be tucked in. I got the giggles the other night when this American voicemail voice came down the line saying: “Are you coming any time soon?” Cheeky boy!

We are loving watching all Ryan’s friends turn into teens and what a great group of kids they are. We organised a Mad Food Party for 17 thirteen year olds the other day and they had a ball trying to decode their menus and ordering the strangest of concoctions. For first course one child ordered a knife, fork, spoon, salt and pepper (Neptune’s Trident, Mugger’s Delight, Medium Shovel, Savoury Rock and Hot Sneeze)! Many received ice cream with mayonnaise on the side and a sosatie for mains (Eskimo Milk, Tangy Dipper and Pierced Hen) with no utensils at all, and still others found themselves eating salad with chocolate sauce and yellow rice for dessert (Bunny’s Brunch, Solid Cocoa and Lello Lice), with a toothpick. In between we played some hilarious games and then the boys kept asking for more. It just goes to show that big kids stilll wanna play and have fun! Just because they are growing up and are part of the wired generation doesn’t mean they have outgrown the need or desire to play. And this is why I have developed the Big Kid Fun© Workshop for parents of children from eight years to teens (yes, I will teach you the hilarious games we played at the party too!).

I was relieved of all mothering duties last weekend as my husband took our boys off to the Desert Rally in Botswana with a couple of mates and their sons. They camped out in the middle of nowhere, not showering on cleaning their teeth for two days and nights. They watched the cars, bikes and quads come racing by, got absolutely filthy from playing one, two, three block in the bush and returned with a patchwork quilt of thorn scratches on their legs. The dads say it is amazing how the boys never whinge and are so brave when mum isn’t around! It was really good ‘boy fun’ for Father’s Day, that has become an annual tradition for these lads and dads, proving the point that there’s nothing as rewarding as making fun out of nothing. When there are no toys, nature provides all the inspiration for wholesome fun. Space and nature is something children, and boys in particular, yearn for. It is a rare commodity in our world of high density living and the limitations placed on our children’s freedom to explore the outdoors due to security issues.

What family traditions are you creating that your children will be able to reminisce about around a campfire one day? Are you making the time to get your children ‘out’ and away from the lure of the multimedia home entertainment centre that has become more than just the babysitter but a perceived bodyguard? And if you can’t get out, get playing. Here is something you can start with………………………..

BIG KID FUN© WORKSHOPS

Big Kid Fun© is for all those parents (and grandparents) who have been asking “What next? What do we do with our children over the age of seven?” Big Kid Fun© is a workshop designed for families with 8 – 99 year olds who love to have fun. It is a very interactive workshop that will consist of a small amount of theory – the importance of play and staying connected with your children – and a lot of Big Kid Fun©. Yes, you will play a lot including some hilarious games you have never heard of! You will be reminded of all the fun to be had with a simple deck of cards, then you will tantalise your tastebuds with some heavenly winter desserts, tea and coffee, afterwhich I will take you through my top family games (classics and those that are hot right now). Big kids of all ages still wanna play and have fun. Join us for an entertaining and inspiring 3 hour workshop.

DATE & TIME (choose one date): Wednesday, 16 July, 7 – 10pm, Thursday, 17 July, 9am – 12pm Wednesday, 23 July, 7 – 10pm Wednesday, 30 July, 7 – 10pm Thursday, 31 July, 7 – 10pm

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R300.00 per person including workshop, notes, refreshments and lucky draws)

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za

PARENTING ON THE RUN© WORKSHOP

Come and learn how to cheat time in this interactive 2 ½ hour workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time. I will show you how to maximize time spent in the car; doing everyday household activities, or even waiting for appointments with your child.

I will also include my ever-popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run. Your child need never be bored and you can always connect no matter where you are or what you are doing. Connecting and communicating your child can be so easy. Join the quest to become a more creative and effective parent. Suitable for parents with children from 2 – 8 (although all ideas are relevant right up to teens!).

DATE & TIME: Tuesday, 22 July 2008, 9 – 11.30am

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R250.00 per person including notes, refreshments and lucky draws

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za

Keep on playing and connecting with your precious children!

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

This is all positive and interesting stuff, however, as I say to parents in my Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter presentation, while these organisations are doing a great job on our behalf, it is only half of the battle won. We, as parents, have to take responsibility for what goes on in our own homes and backyards too. Here are some thoughts to ponder:

- Are we taking advantage of teachable moments to educate our children (billboard advertisements, inappropriate TV viewing etc)?
- Are we helping our children to select appropriate on-screen content?
- Are we limiting our children’s exposure to on-screen media and balancing it with real play experiences?
- Are we educating ourselves about the various media and communication channels our children are accessing or being accessed by (www.digitalads.org )
- Are we educating our children about marketing tactics? What is the marketer or advertiser is really selling and how are they doing it?
- Do these marketing messages fit in with our family values?
- Are we giving our children clear guidelines as to the unwritten ground rules that apply in our own homes (how we do things around here)?
- Are we spending enough time face-to-face with our children?
- Are we outsourcing child care or are we outsourcing actual parenting today?
- How well do we know our child? Do we know which buttons to press to engage him or her?

As a parent you are your child’s primary educator and principle purveyor of values. You are the role model and your child copies you. Are you walking your talk? Remember that we are living in the Age of the Image – children are taking their cues more from what they see than what they hear. This has huge ramifications for families for it is no longer a ‘do as I say world’, but a ‘do as I do world’. Our children are watching us. So are advertisers and marketers, who are competing for our leading role.

The world is as it is. The media and technology are not going to go away. It is a fact that we can no longer totally protect our children in a plug and play world. Today the world comes to you, with or without your permission. It interacts with your child too, much of the time with or without your permission (billboards and cellphones are good examples, for more see www.digitalads.org ). This also means that the world today is full of teachable moments. Are you going to avoid them or use them to educate and protect your child? Without a doubt, young children need to learn to discern from an extremely early age. The process of teaching your child to be discerning and media savvy is one of the ways in which you can help to keep them safe. This process starts with you, the parent – your preparedness to really engage with your child; the relationship you consciously set out to build with your child; the knowledge you acquire, and the skill with which you apply that knowledge to your parenting journey.

If there ever was a need to parent consciously, the time is NOW!

Nikki Bush was quoted extensively in an article entitled Born to be Wired (Born 2 B Y-D) in the Sunday Life Technology section. Journalist Edwin Naidu.

WE MUST PLAY OUR PART TOO

It seems that campaigns by lobbying groups against indiscriminate marketing to children are starting to pay off with well-known corporations agreeing to change food formulations and marketing tactics to avoid facing law suits. Kellogg’s hit the headlines just this week, click here for details http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/settlement.htm. The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (CCFC) is now targeting the gaming industry regarding violence and children with the imminent release of Manhunt 2 (which has already been banned in the UK). Another coup late last year was the CFCC’s stand against the launch of the Pussycat Dolls by Hasbro http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/news/risquedolllimit.htm.

This is all positive and interesting stuff, however, as I say to parents in my Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter presentation, while these organisations are doing a great job on our behalf, it is only half of the battle won. We, as parents, have to take responsibility for what goes on in our own homes and backyards too. Here are some thoughts to ponder:

-Are we taking advantage of teachable moments to educate our children (billboard advertisements, inappropriate TV viewing etc)?
-Are we helping our children to select appropriate on-screen content?
-Are we limiting our children’s exposure to on-screen media and balancing it with real play experiences?
-Are we educating ourselves about the various media and communication channels our children are accessing or being accessed by (www.digitalads.org )
-Are we educating our children about marketing tactics? What is the marketer or advertiser is really selling and how are they doing it?
-Do these marketing messages fit in with our family values?
-Are we giving our children clear guidelines as to the unwritten ground rules that apply in our own homes (how we do things around here)?
-Are we spending enough time face-to-face with our children?
-Are we outsourcing child care or are we outsourcing actual parenting today?
-How well do we know our child? Do we know which buttons to press to engage him or her?

As a parent you are your child’s primary educator and principle purveyor of values. You are the role model and your child copies you. Are you walking your talk? Remember that we are living in the Age of the Image – children are taking their cues more from what they see than what they hear. This has huge ramifications for families for it is no longer a ‘do as I say world’, but a ‘do as I do world’. Our children are watching us. So are advertisers and marketers, who are competing for our leading role.

The world is as it is. The media and technology are not going to go away. It is a fact that we can no longer totally protect our children in a plug and play world. Today the world comes to you, with or without your permission. It interacts with your child too, much of the time with or without your permission (billboards and cellphones are good examples, for more see www.digitalads.org ). This also means that the world today is full of teachable moments. Are you going to avoid them or use them to educate and protect your child? Without a doubt, young children need to learn to discern from an extremely early age. The process of teaching your child to be discerning and media savvy is one of the ways in which you can help to keep them safe. This process starts with you, the parent – your preparedness to really engage with your child; the relationship you consciously set out to build with your child; the knowledge you acquire, and the skill with which you apply that knowledge to your parenting journey.

If there ever was a need to parent consciously, the time is NOW!

Learn how to cheat time – come to Parenting on the Run

Come and learn how to cheat time in this fun and interactive workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time.

Let me show you how to maximize time spent in the car; doing everyday household activities, or even waiting for appointments with your child. You can stimulate your child’s brain and connect emotionally even when you are on the run. I will also include my ever popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run. Connecting and communicating with your child can be so easy and mutually rewarding. For parents of 3 – 7 year olds.

DATE : Friday, 29 June 2007 from 9 – 11.30am OR

Saturday, 30 June 2007 from 9.30 – 12.00

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R150 per person (includes notes, a set of giant dice, a

R50.00 Toys R Us voucher, tea and eats)

TO BOOK : brightideas@powerpt.co.za

Comments from previous delegates:

“Many thanks for the fantastic Parenting on the Run workshop. Your practical suggestions have worked brilliantly for us. I have two very busy little boys (4 and 2) who are easily bored and distracted, but they are putty in my hands with my newfound “box of tricks”! Thanks for a really worthwhile experience.“ Kathleen Bartels

“I can’t believe that I don’t have to feel guilty about being busy anymore!” Audrey Stanley

“Parenting on the run is simpler than I realised. Anyone can do this.” Craig Aitken

“If parents put into practice just a handful of your ideas they would reinforce what we are teaching at pre-school and we would be referring fewer children for therapy. We need to get this message out to more parents.” Glynnis Courtney, Head of HeronBridge Pre-prep and chairlady of the ISASA preschool committee.

For more information on other talks and workshops, visit www.brightideasoutfit.com . I will be sending out dates for the following workshops soon:

Nuts & Bolts for Grannies
Connect the Tots
Nuts & Bolts for Parents

I will presenting Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter at the ACSI Conference (Association of Christian Schools International) and at a number of schools during July.

TOY NEWS

Throw & Blow to be launched in August

Exciting news! Our second mouth co-ordination game called Throw & Blow will be launched by Smile Education as part of their 2007 Christmas range at the end of August. Click here for more details: http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/2007/06/20/throw-blow-to-be-launched-in-august/

Make ‘n Break

If you have attended any of my workshops in the last year you will know how much I rave about this fabulous family game which entails building against the clock with 8 rectangular building blocks. This game is unavailable in South Africa but if you are travelling to the UK, clients of mine have found stock of it at John Lewis stores. It is made by Ravensburger. Suitable for children from 6 years – adult.

Yours in creative parenting

NIKKI BUSH

I presented Connecting with Children through the Noise and Clutter at a local school last week, and I asked the audience to raise their hands if they had experienced the following feeling recently – “Stop the world I want to get off!” Surprise, surprise, the majority of the audience raised their hands. We are living with a sense that time has speeded up and yet we still have the same 24 hours each day. What has changed, however, is the rate of change and amount of change that we are having to assimilate – on a daily basis. Just one current issue of the New York Times contains more information about changes than an average farmer from the early nineteenth century would experience in a lifetime. There are days when we have to learn new things not just by the day but by the hour in order to keep up, and it exhausts us. It is becoming increasingly clear that this rapid change is not just a phase that we are going through, but rather, it seems to be the new reality. We need to learn how to survive and thrive in a constantly shifting environment, where rules are made, changed and broken on an ongoing basis in this new Game of Possibility with which we are engaged. For more on this click here http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/2007/02/06/newsletter-january-2007/.

Now think about a preschool child who so able to cope with change and continual learning, in fact every day is an adventure of epic proportions. Admittedly they do take an afternoon nap which helps keep them balanced. Wouldn’t we all do well to have a little siesta each day – bring on those power naps! These little explorers are actually carrying round within them a natural blueprint for success in the 21st century. Let’s look at just some of the characteristics with which preschoolers are so naturally imbued:
- Inquisitiveness and curiosity about their world and how it works
- They are natural explorers
- Physical learners (they create understanding and meaning by trying things out for
themselves, by doing)
- Original thinkers and highly creative (anything is possible)
- Love learning (can’t get enough of it)
- Are not afraid of failure (no matter how high the couch is or how far they may tumble)
- Adaptable and resilient (there are many more characteristics!)

As parents, we need to ensure that these characteristics are nurtured and kept alive throughout our children’s education and not just in the preschool years. If you can preserve them then it also means that you are probably practicing and role modelling most of them yourself – you have become future literate – you are a player in the Game of Possibility and your child will become a professional player too.

Alvin Toffler, futurist and author of the classic Future Shock (written in 1970) was deadly accurate when he said:

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

In her book Seven Times Smarter veteran US educator Laurel Schmidt says:

“Curiosity is the best toy in the store”.

If we can rekindle our sense of curiosity and learn to not only to ask “Why?”, but “Why not?”, then we might not want to stop the world and get off. In an era where anything is possible, we can become the creators of our own reality, and there is nothing more challenging and exciting than that!

For more on this topic watch out for the book Dr Graeme Codrington and I are co-authoring on 21st century parenting. I will keep you posted on the publication date – at this stage not before end 2007, but you can watch this newsletter and my website for snippets.

WORKSHOPS – WINTER SERIES IN MAY 2007

These workshops are filling up fast. A reminder of the dates:

Nuts & Bolts Workshop
Parents of under 5s
Wednesday, 9 May 2007 9.00 – 11.30am R150.00 per person

Connect the Tots Workshop
Parents of children from birth to 6 years
Wednesday,16 May 10:00 – 11.30am R75.00 per person
Thursday, 17 May 7.30 – 9.00pm R75.00 per person

Parenting on the Run Workshop
Parents of children from 4 – 7 years
Saturday, 26 May 2007 9.00 – 11.30 R150.00 per person

Our Toy Season series at the end of 2006 was oversubscribed. Please remember that payment secures your seat, so book soon to avoid disappointment. Refunds will be entertained up until two weeks prior to each talk. Thereafter, payment is non-refundable.

Watch out for the continuation of the Winter Series in June.

REMSPECED

Paula Barnard, occupational therapist, OT lecturer at Wits University and a long-time colleague of mine, sends out a very interesting online newsletter covering remedial and special education issues in South Africa. To take a look log on to: www.remspeced.co.za. There is also a print edition coming out every second month (starting February 2007) available free of charge in waiting rooms of your local OT, NDT physiotherapist, speech therapist, psychologist etc. l will be writing a regular column touching on issues I am passionate about – helping parents connect with their kids. This 20-24 page magazine will be full of interesting articles, tips and insights to help parents cope with their child who requires additional support in learning, developing and behaviour.

GAME/TOY REVIEWS

1. Zingo (ages 4 and up)

This is a junior bingo game with a very nifty dispenser for the sturdy plastic bingo tiles. This is essentially picture bingo with the words printed beneath the pictures for sight reading. The first person to cover his or her board yells out Zingo! Thoroughly enjoyed by children from 4 – 7. It’s a game that stimulates visual discrimination and matching skills and requires concentration and speed to win. Priced at R120.00+, it’s available at both large toy stores and independents. To view the game or to find out where to get it, log on to www.ttdistributors.co.za. Think Tank Distributors also supplies the following well-known games: Rush Hour, Rush Hour Jr, Safari Rush Hour, River Crossing, River Crossing Jr, Subtrax, Tipover, Toot and Otto and Smart Mouth).

2. Blokus (ages 7 to adult)This strategy game carries a golden seal stating that it is the most awarded game of the 21st century. As we are only at the beginning of this century, I guess it doesn’t have much competition yet. I decided to take a look to see what these claims were all about. Well, this is a must have game that will make it onto my ‘Classics’ list of games every child should have! For a preview of Blokus, go to www.blokus.com where you can play against the computer, obtain advice on the game, place orders for lost pieces, meet other players and see your international ranking! Wow!

Seriously, this is a game for the whole family involving chess-type thinking but in a faster game format. The goal is to strategically place as many of your 21 differently shaped Perspex pieces on the board as possible. The only rule is that you may only place a new piece on the board if it touches another piece of the same colour but only at the corners. Pieces of the same colour cannot be in contact along a straight edge. There are no set moves and every game is different. No reading is required to play this game. It is about thinking skills, problem solving and strategy.

This is a game for two to four players. The age guideline on the box is accurate – from age 7 to adult. Both my children aged 7 and 11 thoroughly enjoyed it and we all wanted to play again and again. The Blokus game board and playing pieces are of a very high quality. Blokus is distributed by Pegasus Toys www.pegasustoys.co.za and retails at R275.00+.

Keep on connecting with your kids!

NIKKI BUSH