Taking break time out of the school curriculum represents of a complete lack of insight into the power and necessity of play in a child’s development.  It constitutes an unprecedented crisis in play according to Stewart Brown, the founder of the National Institute of Play in the US.  “Play is not trivial and the consequences of the absence of play are devastating.  Play is critical to our human development.  We are built to play.  We are built through play.”

Brown cites research done on criminals in the US and one of the most astounding things they all have in common is that their parents did not spend time playing with them as children.  You see play has many benefits, one of which is that it helps children to regulate themselves – to develop self-control, to keep themselves in check, to process their emotions and to consolidate their learning.  Play is also essential in that it brings our curious children to the edge of their knowledge, pushing the boundaries to discover more.  In other words, healthy play actually stimulates learning.  Most famous discoveries have been made by people who pushed the boundaries when they got to the edge of what they knew, and who were “playing” with a concept or an idea.

There is now sufficient evidence about the importance of play, that a new discipline called Play Science is emerging at universities in the US, and none too soon.  Fortunately, break time is not under threat in South African schools, but my question to you is this:  Do you regularly play with your children?  Does play have a place in your family life?  Is play part of your family brand?

If you want to rediscover the power of play, and the magic and simplicity of this remarkable and often neglected parenting tool, do join me for my Parenting on the Run workshop on 18 July in Johannesburg (see details on here).  Play might just be one of the best protective factors you will ever give your children.

I was recently reminded by Irish philosopher and leadership expert, Sean Weafer, that the essence of life is not about being perfect but about perfecting. We are all walking a unique path in the company of others. We must discover and uncover that uniqueness — and children will help you to do just that — if you give them half a chance to be their authentic selves instead of training them to play the looking good game too.

We fall in to this trap so easily because society supports it, and because we have become so numb to our own emotions, our own need to feel. So, when it comes to birthday parties, for example, do we allow our children to get involved in making the invitations, decorations, the food and wrapping the prizes? Or do we keep all these things to ourselves, calling it hard work, instead of fun? Do our children get to really live their parties — to breath life into them — which include the planning, the putting together as well as the enjoyment of the event itself, or are they just visitors dropping in for a while to attend a well-executed event?

They need and want to be part of the process, not just the pretty outcome. It’s part of how memories are made, and how lifeskills are acquired. It’s part of building a life and living it. It’s about living, loving and appreciating.

We will all do things differently and hold varying opinions, from birthday parties to our children’s education and how we spend our time and our money. On many issues there is no longer a strictly right or wrong or black and white answer. Rather, there are many shades of grey often due to diverse backgrounds, religions, circumstances, family make up, financial situations etc. These are the things that impact on our choices or our ability to make choices, and we need to honour our journey of perfecting that which we are, and that which we are becoming.

“Out on the edge of town, beyond the place of right and wrong; there is a field.

Let’s meet there.”

Rumi

I look forward to journeying with many of you at some of my up and coming workshops in May and June. Let’s move beyond the pursuit of perfection to authentic connection — with ourselves and our children. They can tell the difference! Click here for my diary, and here for May workshop dates and here for June workshop dates.

I recently spent an interesting morning listening to visiting US clinical and organisational psychologist Dr Rob Evans, author of Family Matters: How schools can cope with the crisis in childrearing (Jossey-Bass, 2004). According to Evans, the rate of change we are experiencing and the explosion of choices around us are creating both huge opportunities and much confusion. “These conditions are having a profound effect on the way parents parent their children and the way in which they approach their child’s school and teachers.” This, he feels, is having a negative impact on our children’s preparedness for the future.

For parents to partner effectively with their children’s school, Dr Evans had the following advice:

• Stop expecting that school alone can prepare your child for the future. Parents are trying to prepare the path for the child instead of preparing the child for the path.
• Choose a school or education system, understand the rules and policies and play by them. Stop asking for exceptions for your child as it does your child no good in the long term.
• The most important lessons we learn in life we’ve often learnt at the feet of pain, loss and disappointment. Don’t take away these learning opportunities from your children. Don’t smooth the path too much or you won’t prepare the child.
• Stop worrying about whether your child is happy or whether your child actually likes you. The important thing is what kind of future you want for them and whether you are helping or hindering that preparation. Sometimes you have to hold the line with your child about the big stuff, even if it makes you unpopular. Children will get mad with you but you need to let them get glad again – they always do.
• Take a breath, find your courage and let your children grow more on their own. They all have fragile moments but few children are extremely fragile. All the evidence about children is that they are extremely resilient.

I left Dr Evans with a copy of my book, Future-proof Your Child, (Penguin, 2008) which dovetailed so beautifully with his talk. If you want to understand the forces which are changing the future as we speak, then do give it a read. Understanding what we need to know about tomorrow today, why we need to know it, and what we need to do about it will help you to parent more confidently and less tentatively. Information and understanding together with a healthy dose of courage, will enable you to make clearer choices for your children and your family today.

Inbetween all the schedules and busyness, have you ever realised that you are always trying to market to, or sell your child/ren something – an idea, a value, a point of view, an action to be taken etc:

• It’s time for bed – NOW!
• Studying for a test IS a good idea.
• Pack your bags tonight for tomorrow.
• Carrots make you see better in the dark.
• There is no monster sleeping under your bed.
• Don’t let the dog lick your mouth – you’ll get worms!
• Sex is only for adults !!!!
• You are a gorgeous, talented individual. There is no-one quite like you.
• I love you to the moon and stars and back (even though you just nearly drove me round the bend!).

With this generation, authority does work (sometimes), particulary in the early years when “because I am your parent and I said so” still has some magical power to it, or if you have actively positioned yourself as a hero in your child’s life story. But, as children get older there is a tendency for them to either think or, even worse, verbalise “Says Who?” or “Who cares anyway?”. Living in a reward-based culture as we do, where it’s so commonplace for us to be rewarded for swiping our credit cards, being loyal to the same airline, store or restaurant, visiting the gym etc, our children could be forgiven for thinking: “If they want me to do this, what’s in it for me, what do I get?”

This is a very real challenge for 21st century parents. Of course the desired end result after years of parenting is for our children to be intrinsically motivated or self-motivated rather than relying on some form of external bribe etc. But, from time-to-time, it may be necessary to utilise various “marketing tactics” to get the message across to your child in a fun and playful way, or to get their buy-in until it becomes an adopted habit, value, thought or behaviour pattern.

You are in marketing and sales whether you like it or not! I know this fact wasn’t highlighted when you committed to becoming a parent, neither was it detailed in the fine print, but it’s true. Star charts, treats, promises and bribes are all in a parent’s marketing arsenal – to be used wisely, of course. And do watch what the marketers are doing – you could pick up an idea or two to add to your toolkit. Try these “promotions” for size, my kids loved them:

• Two for the price of one, eg. “Keep your room tidy for X weeks without being nagged and I won’t just take you for a milkshake but you can bring a friend along too”.
• Buy one, get one free, eg “Unpack your school bags / hang up your towel for a week without being asked and I’ll make you your favourite pudding on Friday night and you get to choose Friday night’s game / movie!”
• While stocks last promotion, eg “Get your homework done before the clock strikes 5pm, otherwise the offer of a game of Wii / or a game with me, runs out”.

Have fun and make it memorable.

NIKKI BUSH

 “Parenting and playfulness can seem like contradictions, but sometimes we just need a little push, to find one another and have fun together.” Lawrence J. Cohen, Playful Parenting (Ballantine Books, 2001)

“Something’s clicked!” were my sister’s words to me last Saturday when we were discussing her six year old daughter’s progress on the tennis court. ” I don’t know what’s happened but it’s starting to come together.” It reminded me of my boys when they first started off in the game (as with any other sport). To begin with, their shots were almost mechanical in their execution – they were paying attention to every aspect of the shot, overemphasising it, almost making it look awkward. And then at some point in time all those details come together in one flowing movement which not only looks good but it works,.

When children learn anything whether it be crawling, walking, speaking, reading, writing or a sport, they need to learn the basics, the constituent parts and then learn to put them together, into the correct sequence. This is the perceptual skill of analysis and synthesis and it takes planning. Some of the keys to effective learning at all ages are repetition, persistence and perseverance – mastering the movement, deciphering the words or grooving the shot.

 I am so grateful that my sons’ tennis coach warned me early on to bear with her because not only would it take a while for their shots to look like something, but most importantly, it was essential to get the basics of each stroke absolutely correct from the beginning. I have to admit there have been times when, like my sister, I have wondered when exactly it would all come together. And then, suddenly, something clicks and they go from functional to stylish and competent, almost overnight. But, of course, it has been weeks, months or years in the making. As our children’s cheerleaders, our gifts are patience, time and encouragement, for Rome wasn’t built in a day.

We need to step back every now and again, and sit and watch with wonder and amazement at the miracle that is our child, marvelling at the power of the brain-body connection. Life takes practice and time. We must support the journey.

TALKS AND WORKSHOPS

I had a lot of fun in March presenting to different groups of parents and educators in Gauteng and KZN, from Grade 12 life orientation teachers in Soweto, to HeronBridge College (Gauteng), St Martin’s, Wykeham Collegiate and Top Tots/Cowan House(all in KZN) as well as some private functions. A big thank you to all my gracious hosts who put so much effort into the organisation of each function. April will be spent travelling with my family and presenting at various public and private events in the Cape including two presentations at the Global Speakers’ Summit where a few hundred top speakers from all over the world will be congregating.

I am running public workshops in Cape Town (21 April), Knysna (23 and 28 April) and Johannesburg (May 7, 8, 14, 15, 16, 17) in amongst private talks for schools and corporates in Johannesburg and KZN. Please see booking details below.

Please note that while I have set presentation fees for public workshops, when I am booked by a private organisation or school, costs per head for workshops and talks may vary for the following reasons: by how much the organisation is subsidising the talk, the number of people attending, costs of venue, catering etc.

Parenting on the Run Workshop (one hour) on Tuesday, 21 April 2009, 6 – 7.00pm at the Plumstead Methodist Church, CAPE TOWN.  Cost: R40 per head. Bookings: Alet Prinsloo (021) 762 2787 074 124 0514 alet@perfectpic.co.za

About the talk:  Parents today are busy. Being able to parent creatively – on the run – makes your parenting journey easier and much more fun. In this talk, creative parenting expert and author, Nikki Bush, introduces the concept of cheating time and turning the ordinary into the extraordinary, helping parents to give away the guilt they so often feel as they juggle life and parenting. Come away with 50 practical ideas of how to create quality time moments with your children when you are on the run. Learn to cheat time by converting “wasted time” into quality time.

Parenting on the Run Workshop (2.5 hours) on Wednesday, 23 April 200, 5.30 – 8pm at Oakhill School, KNYSNA.  Cost: R150 per person or R200 if both parents attend. Bookings: Lucia Salters, saltersjl@iafrica.com, 082 806 4619.

About the workshop:  As above but includes well over 100 ideas and Nikki will also include her ever-popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run. Connecting and communicating with your child can be so easy, even for busy parents.

Future-proof Your Child talk on Tuesday, 28 April 2009 from 6.00 – 7.00pm at Oakhill School, KNYSNA.  Cost: R30 per person or R50 per couple. Bookings: Lucia Salters, saltersjl@iafrica.com, 082 806 4619.

About the talk: The world has changed. The future has changed. Childhood is changing. Raising children has never been more challenging – or potentially rewarding. Nikki Bush, creative parenting expert and author of the popular new book, Future-proof Your Child, explores what you need to know about tomorrow today, why you need to know this and what you need to do to prepare today’s children for a world that doesn’t yet exist.

This thought provoking multi-media presentation, peppered with personal anecdotes, will introduce you to the X-factors required for success in 2020 and beyond, providing many practical ideas to help children to develop them from an early age. This talk is suitable for anyone involved in raising children, from parents to teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and even parents to be.

Parenting on the Run Workshop on Thursday, 7 May 2009 from 9 – 11.30am at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON.  Cost: R300 per person, includes notes and tea. Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

About this workshop:  see above for details.

Nuts & Bolt Workshop on  Friday, 8 May 2009 from 8.30 – 11.30am at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON, JHB.  Cost: R300 per person, includes notes and tea.  Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

About this workshop:  A fun, interactive workshop covering the specific perceptual skills your child needs to acquire within the first six years of life in order to be ready for school. Get dozens of ideas to help you be really creative with your classic toys such as: shape sorters, stackers, threading and pegging games, matching and association games, puzzles, gross motor equipment, construction toys etc.

This workshop takes parents well beyond what’s in the instruction leaflets. Parents are encouraged to put their own stamp on their child’s play experiences by using their imagination, adding love letters, breaking the rules and combining games in order to create more games! Come prepared to play.

Beyond the Nappy Bag talks, 14 – 17 May 2009 at The Baby Expo, The Dome NORTHGATE, JHB.  Bookings: Watch the press for details. 

About this talk:  A brand new talk for moms who are moving into the next phase of their child’s development.

Keep on playing with your precious children over this holiday period. If you find play difficult just start with 10 minute sessions and build up from there. Remember that we are hard-wired to play, it is part of our human nature, we have just forgotten how.

Kind regards

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit 

nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

“Everyone knows that childhood is a developmental journey for children. Few realise that guiding, learning from and mentoring children is a developmental process for adults, a transformative practice every bit as demanding as found in any martial art, monastery or athletic training camp.”

Michael Mendizza, Magical Parent Magical Child

(North Atlantic Books, 2003)

By the end of each year we can’t wait for school holidays to give us a respite from the school lifts, rushing from one extramural activity to another, school plays, year end parties and all the things that make the treadmill move ever faster. And then, by the second last week of the holidays we can’t wait to get our children back into a “regular” routine again because they are becoming unplayable. Sound familliar?. Now that we have all been back at school for a month and are settling into new routines (it takes a while, especially if you have more than one child to accommodate in between your own stuff!) there is a feeling of having found a kind of rhythm. But, wait a minute, mid-term break is just around the corner (always a bit too soon in the first term, I feel) and after that winter sports start and the routine we have just got used to will change. My brain is fried before we even begin!

 We all thrive on routine vs chaos, especially childen. Routines provide a rhythm for the day that is predictable and makes our children feel more secure. Routines shouldn’t be too complicated – there is a time to wake up and a time to go to bed, a time to eat, a time to play, a time to do homework (once your child is at primary school) and a time to tidy up. Even the most hectic day is calmed by a regular routine. There is no finer example of this to me than a friend of mine who was widowed a few years ago and left with the challenge of raising his 3 year old daughter alone. He is doing a superb job as a single dad, one of the reasons being that his daughter’s routine has always been a priority, even under the most dire circumstances, resulting in a really well balanced and secure child.

In amongst our family routine (a framework within which there is a degree of flexibility and room for creativity) we need to surprise our children every now and again by doing something totally out of the ordinary or unexpected to keep them on their toes. I started the year off by doing a canopy tour with my husband and children – flying through Tstistikamma Forest on ziplines, 20 – 30m above ground level. It was a challenge to my senses considering that I have never been that good with heights so this was a bit of a stretch for me. I have to admit to having butterflies the first few times (actually it was a tingling, prickly feeling in my feet), but the look on the faces of my childen as they watched me was well worth being out of my comfort zone. Now, of course, they think they might get me to do the longer, higher version at Karkloof in KZN. We’ll see!

But surprising your children can be really simple and doesn’t have to be anything fancy or expensive. In fact, my kids get a real thrill – only very occassionally, mind you – when I dive into the swimming pool and wet my hair, or let them mess my hair up while we are watching TV!

What are you going to do to surprise your children this year?

I WILL BE VISITING KZN AND CAPE TOWN………………

I will be in KZN from 16 – 18 March. The 16th and 17th are fully booked with talks but I still have the morning slot open on the 18th. Please contact me asap if you would like to book this slot for your company or school, or if you would like to host a private function. I will be in Cape Town in April and am available for just one presentation, on the evening of 21 April. Please drop me a line if you are interested in making a booking. Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

TALKS AND WORKSHOPS

January and February are traditionally filled with lots of talks at schools. Please find below my schedule of public workshops for the next few months. Please note the booking details and click on the relevant email address.

Saturday, 21 February 2009 9 – 10.30am at Holy Rosary Convent EDENVALE

R100 per person, includes tea Bookings: Shelley Roe-Berning 082 564 7077 or shellrb@mweb.co.za

Future-proof Your Child© The world has changed. The future has changed. Childhood is changing. Raising children has never been more challenging – or potentially rewarding. Nikki Bush, creative parenting expert and author of the popular new book, Future-proof Your Child, explores what you need to know about tomorrow today, why you need to know this and what you need to do to prepare today’s children for a world that doesn’t yet exist. This talk is suitable for anyone involved in raising children, from parents to teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and even parents to be.

Monday, 9 March 2009 8.30 – 11.30am at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON

R300 per person, includes notes and tea Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Nuts & Bolts © workshop A fun, interactive workshop covering the specific perceptual skills your child needs to acquire within the first six years of life in order to be ready for school. Parents are encouraged to put their own stamp on their child’s play experiences by using their imagination, adding love letters, breaking the rules and combining games in order to create more games! come prepared to play. 

Tuesday, 10 March 2009 9am – 12pm at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON

R350.00 per person, includes notes and tea Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Big Kid Fun© workshop For all those parents (and grandparents) who have been asking “What next? What do we do with our children over the age of seven?” Big Kid Fun© is a workshop designed for families with 8 – 99 year olds who love to have fun. It is a very interactive workshop that will consist of a small amount of theory – the importance of play and staying connected with your children – and a lot of Big Kid Fun©. Yes, you will play a lot including some hilarious games you have never heard of! You will be reminded of all the fun to be had with a simple deck of cards and we will play some of my recommended family games. Big kids of all ages still wanna play and have fun. Join us for an entertaining and inspiring 3 hour workshop.

Wednesday, 11 March 2009 9am – 11.30am at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON

R300.00 per person, includes notes and tea Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Future-proof Your Child AND Parenting on the Run (as a package) This is a great combination of talks – Future-proof Your Child is the scene-setter and Parenting on the Run is the practical application. Future-proof Your Child© (one hour talk) See above for details. Parenting on the Run© (one hour talk not the 2.5 hour workshop) Parents today are busy. Being able to parent creatively – on the run – makes your parenting journey easier and much more fun. In this talk, creative parenting expert and author, Nikki Bush, introduces the concept of cheating time and turning the ordinary into the extraordinary, helping parents to give away the guilt they so often feel.

She will show you how time spent in the car, doing household chores and activities or waiting for appointments, can be so valuable to both you and your child – it is never a waste of time! This insightful talk is peppered with personal anecdotes and provides dozens of practical and creative ideas to take home and try with your children.

Tuesday, 17 March 2009 7 – 8pm at Cowan House, HILTON, KZN

Bookings: Julie Hay 082 445 6764 julie@toptots.co.za

Future-proof Your Child© See details above.

Thursday, 7 May 2009 9 – 11.30am at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON

R300 per person, includes notes and tea Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Parenting on the Run© workshop (full 2.5 hour version) As above but including many more creative ideas and Nikki’s ever-popular suggestions for what toys and games to pack when travelling for extended periods or long distance.

Friday, 8 May 2009 8.30 – 11.30am at the Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, BRYANSTON

R300 per person, includes notes and tea Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Nuts & Bolts© workshop A fun, interactive workshop covering the specific perceptual skills your child needs to acquire within the first six years of life in order to be ready for school. Parents are encouraged to put their own stamp on their child’s play experiences by using their imagination, adding love letters, breaking the rules and combining games in order to create more games! come prepared to play. 

14 – 17 May 2009 at the The Baby Expo, The Dome, NORTHGATE

Bookings: Watch the press for details.

Beyond the Nappy Bag© A brand new talk for moms who are moving into the next phase of their child’s development.

One last thought for the month:  When talking to your child try and make eye-contact as often as possible. With really small children it pays to physically get down to their level to really connect.

Keep on playing with your precious children!

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

Dear Clients & Colleagues 

Presence always trumps presents. More than any transient toy, your kids crave time and attention. So let them bask in your attention. (Joe Kelly, Dads and Daughters: How to inspire, understand and support Your Daughter When She’s Growing Up So Fast)

I won’t say too much in this newsletter because I think this brilliant quote above echoes the sentiment behind most of my work. When you pay attention to your children, when you make eye contact, when you really listen to them, when you get down and play a game with them without distraction and interruption, when you really want to get to know what makes them tick -that’s when you make your presence count.

I wish you all a peaceful festive season. I, for one, am going to enjoy some family time for the next few weeks after a very hectic final quarter of 2008. I look forward to meeting up with you all again at various talks and workshops in 2009. Thank you for your support, for your feedback about our book Future-proof Your Child and your responses to this newsletter. I can’t tell you how many responses I had to my query about bangers for Christmas crackers – it’s great to know that my newsletter is read!!!

IF YOU ARE IN JO’BURG AND YOU NEED SIGNED COPIES OF OUR BOOK, FUTURE-PROOF YOUR CHILD……………..

As I am closed until January, do pop in to Estoril Books in Fourways Mall where I recently signed a stack of books. Future-proof Your Child is proving to be extremely popular among parents and educators, and is being read by men and women alike.

IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE OF JO’BURG: Pop into to branches of Exclusive Books, Wordsworths and other independent books stores around the country. To order the books online, or to send to relatives elsewhere, visit :

www.kalahari.net

www.exclusives.co.za

www.loot.co.za

www.amazon.co.uk

THOMAS’ SHAPE STATION GAME IS AVAILABLE FOR CHRISTMAS

This super first shape and colour board game is now available in Toys R Us, ToyZone and other stores that stock Thomas the Tank Engine merchandise. It was developed by drama teacher Justine Heydra and myself and has been manufactured and distributed by Just Fun Toys. The artwork is beautiful and will satisfy any Thomas fan. The game stimulates visual discrimination and matching skills which are important foundations for reading and writing. Playing board games also teaches children to take turns as well as to win and lose. This game is perfect for 3 – 5 year olds and can be played with 2 – 4 players.

Cost is R199.00. Click here for pictures.

MORE GIFTING IDEAS

I am updating my website with recommended game and toy info at the moment so do visit for some ideas: www.brightideasoutfit.com. Click here for the latest update.

Keep on playing and connecting with your precious children! Make the most of the extra quality time you may have together over the holiday period.

NIKKI BUSH

Dear Clients and Colleagues

When Graeme Codrington & I were interviewed about our book, Future-proof Your Child by Jenny Crys-Williams on Radio 702 two weeks ago, the conversation during one of the ad breaks turned to the fact that in an economic downturn we are forced to become more resourceful and Jenny used a lovely phrase – to become more rooted. This really resonated with me because it is exactly rootedness and resourcefulness that is the antidote to the materialism and the rampant consumerism that we have all become so accustomed to in recent years. And, perhaps, this will be the start of doing something to heal our threatened planet too. Whatever action we take or don’t take in the next while will be a shaping force on this generation of children and either the development of a mindset of sustainability and creative solutions-finding, or one of fear of lack and possible imminent disaster. Will you focus on the danger or the opportunity that is presenting itself through our shifting world?

Here are a few things you can do as families to become more rooted and resourceful this holiday season – make fun out of nothing!:

1. Make your own gift tags

Actually my 9-year old son and a friend were doodling around on the computer a few Saturday’s ago when they came to chat to me about a few ways they thought they could make a bit of money, like offering to walk people’s dogs, wash cars, etc. This conversation eventually culminated in a small business idea of making hand crafted gift tags at a fraction of the cost of bought ones, which their mothers, of course, will market through word of mouth. Their eyes were bright with enthusiasm and the possibility of making some money! In our busyness, we parents must now nurture this seed and ensure that this little business venture actually happens! Tthe idea here is to be resourceful and use up bits of cardboard and coloured paper, glue and paint that we already have on hand.

2. Wrap Christmas gifts in newsprint and decorate with stunning ribbons and bows and handmade gift tags

You’ve seen designers and interior decorators doing this in fancy magazines, now you can try it yourself, not just because it looks good, but because it saves money, trees and other resources too. And the littlies just love doing potato printing on plain white paper to create giftwrap.

3. Make your own Christmas Crackers

Get those empty toilet rolls back int use and make Christmas crackers with wrapping paper, newsprint and ribbons. Fill them with left over sweets from Halloween and and all the left over toys and giveaways from all the take-aways throughout the year (they were barely played with anyway!). Older children love joke books (I hate them) so put them to good use. Tthey can type out jokes to put into the crackers. The only thing I cannot tell you is where to find bangers. If anyone knows, please let me know. The idea here is to make the crackers together with your children.

4. Don’t by junk this Christmas – invest in good toy purchases

Yes, this is undeniably an advertisment for my annual presentation called Toy Talk, which aims to educate parents through a fun, stimulating and interactive presentation so that they can make wiser choices for their children when it comes to buying toys and games. There is a lot of junk out there – don’t waste your money. See below for more details.

ADD ANOTHER EMAIL ADDRESS TO YOUR ADDRESS BOOK

My October newsletter entitled Endings and Beginnings went out from a second email address which was not recognised by many of my corporate client’s servers. Please would you add this as a second email address for me so that the newsletters are not rejected: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

LAST CHANCE TO ATTEND TOY TALK 2008

Toy Talk on 12 November was a runaway success. If you still want a seat for one of the next three workshops, do book now to avoid disappointment. Toy Talk will help you make wiser toy and game choices for your children. Here is the synopsis: They’re everywhere from cheap Chinese junk, to Fischer Price, Barney, Barbie, High School Musical, Lego and Meccano, to battery operated winking, blinking noisy toys to solid educational toys, to Play Station, computers Gameboys and balls, jungle gyms, pots, pans and wooden spoons.

Do children need toys? What categories of toys are there? How do children learn? Why is play so important? What are the classic toys every child needs? What’s new on the market? Where do electronic toys fit in? How to select a toy, and more. Armed with a little bit of knowledge about toys and how children learn, this fun, interactive workshop will enable you to make better choices for your child and will make shopping for games and toys a piece of cake.

Toy Talk is a two hour workshop presented by creative parenting expert and author, Nikki Bush. She is also an educational game designer and a judge on the professional panel in South Africa’s Toy of the Year Awards. If you want to know what Nikki is recommending for her “classic collection” and her “what’s hot right now selection” of toys and games, book for Toy Talk 2008 now! Suitable for parents of children from birth to age 12.

DATE/ TIME/ VENUE/ COST

Wednesday, 12 November 2008 at  7.30 – 9.30pm, Bryanston Country Club R175.00 including tea, eats, notes and a goodie bag

Friday, 21 November 2008 at 9.30 – 11.30am, Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston

Saturday, 22 November 2008 at 9 – 11.00am, Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston 

Monday, 24 November 2008 at 9.30 – 11.30am, Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston 

BOOKINGS : nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za. Payment secures your seat.

SHOPPING : We have a limited selection of highly recommended games and toys on sale at the workshops (credit card facilities available). Come and get that Christmas shopping done while enjoying tea which includes our famous Scottish Flapjacks. A half an hour for shopping and tea has been factored in to the time allocation.

MORE INFO : www.brightideasoutfit.com

Regret no children as it is distracting for the other delegates.

TALKS AT SCHOOLS: I am already booked to speak at a number of schools in January, February and March 2009. Please do not leave bookings until the last minute. You need to contact me well ahead of time as Saturdays and evenings are at a premium.

BIG KID FUN WORKSHOPS

For those parents of 8 year olds plus who still want to squeeze this workshop in this year, Big Kid Fun takes place on 27 November in Dougalsdale. It will be half an hour longer than usual as I will incorporate what was relevant from Toy Talk 2008 just for this age band. This is a small workshop for only seven delegates.

Synopsis: Big Kid Fun©is for all those parents (and grandparents) who have been asking “What next? What do we do with our children over the age of seven?” Big Kid Fun© is a workshop designed for families with 8 – 99 year olds who love to have fun. It is a very interactive workshop that will consist of a small amount of theory – the importance of play and staying connected with your children – and a lot of Big Kid Fun©. Yes, you will play a lot including some hilarious games you have never heard of! You will be reminded of all the fun to be had with a simple deck of cards, and we will play our way through my selection top family games (classics and those that are hot right now). Big kids of all ages still wanna play and have fun.

Join us for an entertaining and inspiring 3 hour workshop. Of course notes and a delicious tea are included and you will be able to get all your Christmas shopping done at the same time.

DATE & TIME / VENUE / COST

Thursday, 27 November 2008 6.00 – 9.30pm Douglasdale

R300.00 per person Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za

Keep on playing and connecting with your precious children! Make the most of the extra quality time you may have together over the holiday period. NIKKI BUSH

“Our children could not grow up into fine adults if there weren’t impermanence. We are on loan to each other for only a short while. We can never bathe twice in the same river, said the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, nor can we dip into this moment of our parenthood twice, no matter how beautiful the experience.”

Jane Bartlett, Parenting with Spirit (Rider, 2004).

Here we are entering the silly season again. Where has time gone? It feels like it was yesterday that we were at the beginning of another year filled with so many plans and promises, and now we are making preparations for its closing. But that’s life isn’t it? A series of beginnings and endings.

I was privileged to attend the grade 12 Valediction Service at my children’s school last night and I was deeply moved by the closing tradition. As each grade 12 learner left the auditorium, they got to ring the brass school bell one last time symbolising the closing of a chapter of their lives, then shook the headmaster’s hand and stepped out into their future. The way each young adult rung the bell was unique and very personal. I would love to have been able to hear what was going on in their hearts and minds. Regardless, I could sense the poignance of each ring of the bell and sat with a lump in my throat – and these were not my children!

My eldest son will start in the same college next year and the tradition is that each grade 8 will get to ring that same brass school bell to symbolise the beginning of their high school career. When Ryan handed me his examination timetable for grade 7 a few weeks ago tears blurred my vision as it dawned on me that his primary school years are almost over. Where has the time gone? In just a few weeks we will be sitting through his Valediction Service.

Whatever phase of parenthood you find yourselves in, don’t waste a minute. Be as “present” as possible, live each one of the joys and challenges that your children will bring you, dance with them like there is no tomorrow, and discover more about who you are through all the experiences your children will expose you to. Your children come but once in a lifetime.

I just loved the tradition of the bell ringing. You too, can use rituals and celebrations to create special family memories. What kind of family traditions do you use to celebrate life stages/phases or rights of passage. For some thoughts on the matter, do check out my book, Future-proof Your Child(Penguin, 2008). If you have ideas to share, drop me an email, I would love to hear about them.

FUTURE-PROOF YOUR CHILD BOOK LAUNCH ON 29 OCTOBER 2008

We had a very successful book launch at The Indaba Hotel last night with a super turnout of over 200 people. We were able to raise R8000.00 from the sale of the books for The Play with a Purpose Foundation. Many thanks to The Indaba Hotel for the venue and to Penguin for all their oganisation.  Click here for more pictures.

There is quite a lot of publicity around the book at the moment. If you missed me on TV3’s Lunchbox, or ETV Sunrise last week, you can catch Graeme and I on the Jenny Cryws-Williams’ show on 702 today at 2pm. I did a pre-recorded interview with Kelly Thorington on Classic FM which will also be aired at 2pm today. Future-proof Your Child is now on sale in Exclusive Books, Estoril Books and other good book stores. You can also order it online from Kalahari.net and Amazon.com.

TOY TALK 2008 IS HERE!

They’re everywhere from cheap Chinese junk, to Fischer Price, Barney, Barbie, High School Musical, Lego and Meccano, to battery operated winking, blinking noisy toys to solid educational toys, to Play Station, computers Gameboys and balls, jungle gyms, pots, pans and wooden spoons.

Do children need toys? What categories of toys are there? How do children learn? Why is play so important? What are the classic toys every child needs? What’s new on the market? Where do electronic toys fit in? How to select a toy, and more. Armed with a little bit of knowledge about toys and how children learn, this fun, interactive workshop will enable you to make better choices for your child and will make shopping for games and toys a piece of cake. T

oy Talk is a two hour workshop presented by creative parenting expert and author, Nikki Bush. She is also an educational game designer and a judge on the professional panel in South Africa’s Toy of the Year Awards. If you want to know what Nikki is recommending for her “classic collection” and her “what’s hot right now selection” of toys and games, book for Toy Talk 2008 now! Suitable for parents of children from birth to age 12.

DATE, TIME, VENUE, COST

Wednesday, 12 November 2008 7.30 – 9.30pm Bryanston Country Club R175.00 including tea, eats, notes and a goodie bag

Friday, 21 November 2008 9.30 – 11.30am Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston As above.

Saturday, 22 November 2008 9 – 11.00am Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston As above.

Monday, 24 November 2008 9.30 – 11.30am Miele Gallery of Fine Living, Peter Place, Bryanston As above.

BOOKINGS : nikki@brightideasoutfit.co.za. Payment secures your seat.

SHOPPING : We have a limited selection of highly recommended games and toys on sale at the workshops (credit card facilities available). Come and get that Christmas shopping done while enjoying tea which includes our famous Scottish Flapjacks. A half an hour for shopping and tea has been factored in to the time allocation.

MORE INFO : www.brightideasoutfit.com Regret no children as it is distracting for the other delegates.

TALKS AT SCHOOLS: I am already booked to speak at a number of schools in January, February and March 2009. Please do not leave bookings until the last minute. You need to contact me well ahead of time as Saturdays and evenings are at a premium.

BIG KID FUN WORKSHOPS

 For those parents of 8 year olds plus who still want to squeeze this workshop in this year, we will run two Big Kid Fun workshops on 18 November and 27 November in Dougalsdale. It will be half an hour longer than usual as I will incorporate what was relevant from Toy Talk 2008 just for this age band.

Big Kid Fun©is for all those parents (and grandparents) who have been asking “What next? What do we do with our children over the age of seven?” Big Kid Fun© is a workshop designed for families with 8 – 99 year olds who love to have fun. It is a very interactive workshop that will consist of a small amount of theory – the importance of play and staying connected with your children – and a lot of Big Kid Fun©. Yes, you will play a lot including some hilarious games you have never heard of! You will be reminded of all the fun to be had with a simple deck of cards, and we will play our way through my selection top family games (classics and those that are hot right now).

Big kids of all ages still wanna play and have fun. Join us for an entertaining and inspiring 3 hour workshop. Of course notes and a delicious tea are included and you will be able to get all your Christmas shopping done at the same time.

DATE & TIME VENUE COST

Tuesday, 18 November 2008 9am – 12.30pm Douglasdale R300.00 per person

Thursday, 27 November 2008 6.00 – 9.30pm Douglasdale R300.00 per person

Bookings: nikki@brightideasoutfit.com

Keep on playing and connecting with your precious children!

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

August 2008

Dear Clients & Colleagues

“Because they have such a difficult time seeing any purpose for play in their own lives, adults also discount play as unimportant in children’s lives. Play is often subverted to meet teacher-parent needs for productivity.” Fred O Donaldson, Playing By Heart (1993)

The Big Kid Fun workshops have been a hit with parents of older children (8+) and we have had to lay on a few extras to cope with demand. We played up a storm and it was been a good reminder of the opportunity play provides for parents to press the pause or stop button. Taking time out to play a game with your kids is a good excuse to take a break from whatever you are doing. Play can be such a grounding experience, bringing us into the present moment and enabling us to forget about past and present for a while. This is what Parenting on the Run and Big Kid Fun delegates discover at the workshops.

The first of my new games for big kids, Indahoo and Sketch-a-Story were delivered over this period, and by the end of August you should be able to find them in most toy shops and chain stores nationally. We have stock so if you have difficulty finding them, just email us at . For more info about these fabulously fun games, click here.

In addition, much time has been spent wrapping up my book (co-authored with Dr Graeme Codrington) called Future-proof Your Child. It goes to print this week and will be launched by Penguin later this year in October!

I am looking forward to spending the last week of August running a series of workshops for schools and corporates in KZN. For info on these and the new Gauteng workshop dates, read further down this email.

Suffice to say that this has been a hectic few weeks and balancing deadlines and motherhood has had its challenges. We have had one or two emotional wobblies, especially the day my children missed their bus home from school! Thank goodness for friends who step into the breach! These busy times are actually the ones where a little play goes a long way, which was the lesson I got loudly and clearly. Fifteen minutes of bowling to my youngest son in the driveway before running a workshop one evening was proof of the profound effect of play. In just 15 minutes of having my full attention, Matthew’s emotional cup was full. For my eldest it was an hour in the shopping mall that filled his cup. Even though I really didn’t have the time for it, it was time well spent. And, in the middle of a frenetic day handling dozens of last minute details for my book, can you believe that I decided to bake a cake with Matthew and his friend Josh!? Insane or what? It was because it was exactly what they needed to anchor them (and me!) for the day. (Yes, you guessed it – I bake to ground myself and de-stress – my form of play.)

THE LESSON: when your children’s cups are full and not wanting, they are able to merrily go on their way and amuse and entertain themselves without constantly pestering, nagging or interrupting you. A little play does indeed go a long way! Even if you are really busy it may be just the perfect time to press that pause button and go and play with your kids.

FORTHCOMING TALKS & WORKSHOPS – GAUTENG

Bookings :

19 August 2008, Tuesday, 7.30pm Douglasdale, Parenting on the Run© talk

R120.00 per person. Suitable for parents of children from 2 – 7 years. Minimum of 20 people required for this workshop.

Come and learn how to cheat time in this interactive 1 hour workshop. Leave armed with over 50 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time. If you want the full 2 ½ hour version of this workshop, read further down.

4 September 2008 Thursday, 9 – 11.30am Douglasdale, Big Kid Fun© Workshop

R300 per person.  Suitable for parents of children from 8 years and up. Minimum of 7 people required for this workshop.

Big Kid Fun© is for all those parents (and grandparents) who have been asking “What next? What do we do with our children over the age of seven?” Big Kid Fun© is a workshop designed for families with 8 – 99 year olds who love to have fun. It is a very interactive workshop that will consist of a small amount of theory – the importance of play and staying connected with your children – and a lot of Big Kid Fun©. Yes, you will play a lot including some hilarious games you have never heard of! For more info click here.

6 September 2008 Saturday, 9.30am – 12.30pm Douglasdale, Big Kid Fun© Workshop R300 per person As above.

12 September 2008 Friday, 9am – 11.30pm Miele Gallery of Fine Living Peter Place, Bryanston, Parenting on the Run© Workshop

R250.00 per person. Suitable for parents of children from 2 – 7 years primarily, but all activities will still be of benefit in the later years too. Minimum of 25 people required for this workshop.

Come and learn how to cheat time in this interactive 2 ½ hour workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time. Far more detailed than the one hour talk, and includes my ever-popular suggestions for what to pack when travelling. For more info click here.

27 September 2008 Saturday, 9.30am – 12pm Douglasdale/Bryanston TBC, Nuts & Bolts© Workshop

R250.00 per person. Suitable for parents of children from 2 – 5 years. Minimum of 9 people required for this workshop.

A fun, interactive workshop covering the specific perceptual skills your child needs to acquire within the first 6 years of life in order to be ready for school. Learn how to be creative with your classic educational toys such as: shape sorters and stackers, threading and pegging games, matching and association games, puzzles, gross motor equipment, construction toys, etc.

This workshop takes parents well beyond what’s in the instruction leaflets. Put your own stamp on your child’s play experiences by using your imagination, adding love letters, breaking the rules and combining games in order to create more games! Come prepared to play. For more info, click here.

TALKS AT SCHOOLS: Please do not leave bookings until the last minute. You need to contact me well ahead of time. From October 2007 I will have a new presentation available for schools called Future-proof Your Child. It is a one hour multimedia presentations that all 21st century parents need to experience. Click here for the full synopsis.

MY VISIT TO KWAZULU-NATAL

My Parenting on the Run© presentations at the National Bioproducts Institute and The Wykeham Collegiate are private functions, however, Cowie’s Hill Pre-Primary will be hosting two of my presentations on Wednesday, 27 August and visitors are welcome. Should you wish to attend please call (031) 702 3753 or email chpps@webstorm.co.za as soon as possible.

27 August 2008 Wednesday 2 – 3.30pm, Connect the Tots© Workshop

R80 per person Suitable for parents of 1 – 7 year olds.

A fun and interactive workshop about the importance of constructions toys. You will never look at a packet of Jelly Tots or a bag of building blocks in the same way again! Click here for more info.

27 August 2008 Wednesday 7 – 8.30pm Noise & Clutter© talk followed by discussion R80 per person Suitable for parents of children from birth to 12.

Today your children are literally born with a mouse in one hand and your wallet in the other! An eye-opening multimedia presentation for all parents about the backdrop to parenting and child development today – the noise of technology and the clutter of consumerism. Click here for more info.

GREAT FIND – FABULOUS LEGO TABLE!

Now here’s a find! If you have ever been looking for a perfectly sized table to permanently house your child’s Lego, train set, Scalectrix or any other toys that require a hard surface to build on, that is big enough, and one that they can leave their creative constructions on without cluttering up the floor surface in your home (oh, and then you can store all the pieces in the drawer underneath too, and the whole thing is on castors), then this is for you! Click here for a picture, dimensions and options. Contact Michelle at shimuweni@hotmail.com.

Keep on playing and connecting with your precious children!

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

www.brightideasoutfit.com