Dear Parents and Colleagues

I have just spent the weekend with my entire family in Dullstroom – our annual family pilgrimage. What a gift it is to be with everyone under one roof – just about – we now number 14 so we have to have two cottages! It seems that this is the family benchmarking holiday when we assess how much each of our children has grown, how proficiently they ride their bikes, or whether or not they are old enough to prepare their own rods and cast without snagging their hooks on anything. You can tell the different ages and stages in the family by the games they’re able to play – Barbie Bingo with my four year old nieces and Clue Jnr (baby Cluedo) with the 7 year olds, while my eldest son at 12 is now playing games such as Cranium with the adults. Blokus once again proved to be a hit with everyone, a real battle of the minds.

Holidays or weekends away give us the gift of quality time that we so desperately need with our families. To really see them and be with them. Those long distance trips are a great time to share in conversation without interruptions, from sex education (FAMSA was visiting our school this week) to the state of the environment (driving through Witbank one cannot ignore the unbelievable air pollution!).

It also was wonderful to watch my dad, an ex-champion squash player, giving his grandsons lessons, and to see how much spending time with their legacy energises my parents in their 60s and 70s. Having his whole family together at the same time brought tears to my dad’s eyes on numerous occasions. My parents are extremely active with their six grandchildren and have fully embraced the fact that there is still so much they can contribute to life in this way. We, as their children, are extremely lucky to have their input and support in bringing up our children. Apart from all the ways they physically interact with our children, each and every grandchild knows with absolute certainty that this special relationship is a source of unconditional love and support no matter what. And we are all the richer for that.

With this inspiration, combined with the fact that today’s grandparents (many retiring Boomers) are playing an increasingly active role in “bringing up” their grandchildren or “co-parenting” in the 21st century, I will be hosting a brand new workshop for active grannies, called Grannies in Action.

GRANNIES IN ACTION

This fun and interactive workshop combines the essentials from my Nuts & Bolts Workshop with some of the many bright ideas from Parenting on the Run. Leave the workshop with renewed enthusiasm and an armload of fresh ideas that will help you to connect with your grandchildren and stimulate their development while simply having fun and playing together. Play is such an essential part of learning and life and we all need to be inspired to reconnect with it. I am convinced it is one of the ingredients of the fountain of youth! Come and play. This workshop is suitable for grannies of 2 – 7 year olds.

DATE : Friday, 17 August 2007

TIME : 10.00am – 12.30pm

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R150.00 per person (includes notes, tea, a set of Fruit Dominoes from Smile Education and a Toys R Us gift voucher)

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za (for grannies not online, phone 011 462-1828) payment secures your booking. Seats are limited.

NUTS & BOLTS

A fun and interactive parent workshop covering: v the specific perceptual skills your child needs to acquire within the first 6 years of life in order to be ready for school v how to really be creative with your classic toys such as: shape sorters and stackers, threading and pegging games, matching and association games, puzzles, gross motor equipment, construction toys, etc.

This workshop takes parents well beyond what’s in the instruction leaflets. Parents are encouraged to put their own stamp on their child’s play experiences by using their imagination, adding love letters, breaking the rules and combining games in order to create more games! Come prepared to play. Workshop suitable for parents of 2 – 5 year olds.

“Having attended three of your workshops, I can honestly say that you have brought a new excitement and dimension to being a mom. If children had a vote, they would want their parents to go to your workshops.” Kerry Sewell

“I am so inspired and full of new ideas from your workshop. I’m looking forward to playing with my 2 year old again. You need to take this fantastic information to more parents!” Moira Sheridan.

DATE : Thursday, 16 August 2007

TIME : 10.00 – 12.30pm

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R150.00 per person (includes notes, tea, a set of Fruit Dominoes from Smile Education and a Toys R Us gift voucher)

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za (for grannies not online, phone 011 462-1828) Payment secures your booking. Seats are limited.

PARENTING ON THE RUN (this weekend, two seats left!)

Come and learn how to cheat time in this interactive workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time.

I will show you how to maximize time spent in the car; doing everyday household activities, or even waiting for appointments with your child. You can stimulate your child and connect emotionally even when you are on the run. I will also include my ever-popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run.

Connecting and communicating your child can be so easy. Suitable for parents of children from 3 – 7 years.

DATE : Saturday, 21 July 2007

TIME : 9.30am – 12.00pm

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R150.00 per person (Includes tea, notes, a set of giant dice and a R50 Toys R Us gift voucher)

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za Payment secures your bookings. Seats are limited.

“I can’t believe that I don’t have to feel guilty about being busy anymore!” Audrey Stanley

“If parents put into practice just a handful of these ideas they would reinforce what we are teaching at pre-school and we would be referring fewer children for therapy. We need to get this message out to more parents”. Glynnis Courtney, Head of HeronBridge Pre-Prep and chairlady of the ISASA pre-school committee 2006.

“Many thanks for the fantastic Parenting on the Run workshop. Your practical suggestions have worked brilliantly for us. I have two very busy little boys (4 and 2) who are easily bored and distracted, but they are putty in my hands with my newfound “box of tricks”! “ Kathleen Bartels

SCHOOLS, CONFERENCES ETC.

I have a number of speaking engagements at various schools next week and also spoke at the conference for the Association of Christian Schools International (ACSI) last week. It was a wonderful session with lots of discussion and feedback from a broad cross-section of pre-school teachers.

My diary is filling up quickly for the rest of the year. If you would like me to be a guest speaker at your school, conference or church group, please contact me as soon as possible.

TOY NEWS

I came across an innovative game called Toss Across the other day and it kept a group of 5 – 12 year olds (and their parents) occupied on and off for quite a few hours. It’s a variation of noughts and crosses but utilises the gross motor activity of throwing small beanbags at the playing board to spin the pieces of the game. At R79.00 it is a steal and a lot of fun. Available at ToyZone. I’m having trouble uploading a picture of it on to my website but will keep trying. Check under the Toy Talk section.

Yours in creative parenting.

NIKKI BUSH

The end of October is looming and mid-term break, for some, is just around the corner (so is Christmas!). It’s Toy Talk season. This newsletter contains news of Toy Talk and this year’s goodie bag as well as my website details.

DOTTY ABOUT SPOTS

In celebration of the launch of our unique mouth co-ordination game, Drop the Spot (Drop the Spot – a unique mouth co-ordination game), this year’s Toy Talk goodie bag comes to you in an attractive spotty bag. This must be one of the best value goodie bags on the market (worth well over R75.00), and includes:

• product from Smile Education
• a pack of batteries from Energizer to fuel your child’s favourite winking, blinking, noisy toy
• a pot of fabulous Crazy Clay from Bostik
• a R50.00 Toys R Us gift voucher
• a copy of Your Child magazine
• a promotional pack of Zoob (brilliant construction toy)
• a promotional pack of Scoubidou (the original knotting/weaving product)

TOY TALK

They’re everywhere from cheap Chinese junk, to Fischer Price, Bratz, Barbie, Lego and Meccano, to battery operated winking, blinking noisy toys to educational games and toys, to Play Station, computers Gameboys and balls, jungle gyms, pots, pans and wooden spoons.

Do children need toys? What categories of toys are there? How do children learn? What are the classic toys every child needs? What’s new on the market? Where do electronic toys fit in? How to select a toy, tips for storage and more. Armed with a little bit of knowledge about toys and how children learn, this fun, interactive workshop will enable you to make better choices for your child.

Toy Talk is a one and a half hour workshop presented by Nikki Bush, who is a motivational speaker and writer on parent and child development issues. She is also a judge on the professional panel in South Africa’s Toy of the Year Awards.

If you would like to attend Toy Talk, choose a date from the list below and come and join us for a fun and stimulating session.

WHEN : Tuesday, 31 October, 9.30 – 11.30am

Wednesday, 1 November, 7.30 – 9.30pm

Monday, 20 November, 7.30 – 9.30pm

Wednesday, 22 November, 9.30 – 11.30am

VENUE : Douglasdale, Gauteng

COST : R75.00 per person (includes workshop, refreshments and a R75.00 goodie bag). Payment secures your seat (bookings are limited).

BOOKINGS : Nikki on 083 265 5754 or brightideas@powerpt.co.za

SHOPPING : Nikki has a limited selection of highly recommended games and toys. Bring along cash or your cheque book and get that Christmas shopping done! Please note that there is no obligation to purchase.

MORE INFO : www.brightideasoutfit.com

A Toy Talk flyer has been attached separately if you would like to circulate it or print it out to pass on to friends, colleagues and family.

VISIT MY BLOGSITE

If you want to know what I’m reading, who I’m interviewing, or to pick up my latest thoughts / articles on parenting or child development, logon to www.brightideasoutfit.com or www.nikkibush.com. If you insert your address into the subscribe block, then you will automatically be alerted by email every time I put fresh information on my blogsite.

The titles of some of my most recent posts include:

• A new kind of parenting for a new era

• Balance your child’s real and virtual experiences

• All in their own time

• Working, raising kids and having a life

• Keeping the balance

• Play and stay instead of drop and run

• Wake up the world has changed!

• What is the SABC’s AIDS initiative up against?

Look out for next month’s newsletter with news of the winners of the various categories in the SA Toy of the Year Awards.

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

083 265 5754

brightideas@powerpt.co.za

www.brightideasoutfit.com

Ideally done at the dinner table, when the whole family is together. You get to hear about everyone’s day and how to label feelings.

Round one :

Each person gets a chance to share a ‘sour’ (we say it is “the worst thing that happened in your day”). Mention what it is and how it made you feel. Eg. “By mistake I left my takkies at home so I couldn’t play tennis. I was very cross with myself because I really wanted to play.”

Round two :

Each person gets to share a ‘sweet’ (we say it is “the best thing that happened in your day”). Mention what it is and how it made you feel. Eg. “Robyn came to play with me this afternoon and we had fun. It made me happy.”

During the process, no family member may interrupt another. It is a game about listening and sharing. My youngest son was 3 ½ when we started playing it. I thought he would be too young to participate but I was taken by surprise as he actually led the process from day one, and still does today.

As published in the Citadel client newsletter, June 2006

 My grandmother celebrated her 90th birthday recently! Of course we held a party to honour her and celebrate her life. While she may not have been the head of a corporation – she has always been a queen of relationships – an asset that even in our warp speed 21st century world we cannot do without.

It has been a privilege to be her granddaughter for almost 40 years. Even though many of these have been at a distance, my Gran has still been a constant in the sea of change because she always invested in us emotionally, and loved us unconditionally. Enduring relationships like this bring comfort and stability, wisdom and a link to a past that may seem light years away from our modern world – a past that has helped shape today nonetheless.

While much of our lives and those of our children are influenced and even driven by technology today, relationships remind us of our humanness, of our need for others and to relate to real people. Communicating and connecting with each other is more important than ever in order to balance the hi-tech nature of our lives. I honestly believe that the more hi-tech our society becomes the greater the need for high touch!

Parents and grandparents can be a real balancing influence as evidenced by the latest BratTrax® research study released by Youth Dynamix in March 2006. It indicates that South African children aged 7 – 15, have gone off celebrities as their role models. Now they look for real ones, and they are turning back to parents and family! Celebrities have shown that they are fickle, unreliable and flawed, where parents and grandparents are real, constant and can provide personalised feedback. This is not to say that we are perfect, but our own imperfections can provide wonderful teachable moments for our children and grandchildren. 

Children of every generation have had a great need to belong. However, today’s materialistic and consumer driven society has interpreted this as a need to have the latest “cool” gear, cellphone accessories and technological gadgets in order to “fit in”. Grandparents can show their grandchildren that belonging is about more than what you look like on the outside, and what you have. More importantly, it comes from developing real relationships based on values and sharing. Enjoy your role as the custodian of your family.

Families have a rich history, are filled with colourful characters, shaped by enduring traditions and specific values. Much like life they are a work in progress and can be a stabilising influence in a world that is constantly changing and evolving. Be the keeper and source of family memories. Children love a good story and you can regale them with what it was like in your day – how different things were then – but don’t judge today moralistically by saying that things were better back then. Today is as it is and you need to help your grandchildren to develop solutions to today’s problems.

Build bridges to your grandchildren and let them teach you about their world. Make them your official technology guide – they will set up your email, program your video or DVD player and be your resident IT specialist. This is second nature to the most wired generation in history. Your grandchildren have more raw data processing power than most nations have ever had! You might even find yourself enjoying a Playstation or computer flight simulation game, making cookies on a perceptual skills computer programme or communicating via email or SMS with them. Use this technology to help build your relationship with your grandchildren. Email them good luck notes for tests and exams and get them to SMS you their latest test marks. Send a virtual bunch of flowers or forward an inspirational picture or quote with a personal note attached. (Using this technology is quick and easy once you know how.) Children need to feel that you care and that they belong. Today you have so many different ways of keeping in contact with them – use them all!

Grandparents usually have more time at their disposal than their grandchildren’s parents do, so use some of your time and money to create rich memories with your grandchildren by visiting exhibitions, parks, going for walks, on holidays, and lots of other things – together! Don’t forget that children learn best through these real, concrete life experiences, especially in the early years. This phase lasts right up until the age of 12 and provides a child with a much broader platform on which to base his abstract academic learning and critical thinking skills later on.

So, grandparents, be accessible whether you live close by or not. Create opportunities to play with your grandchildren, cook with them, eat with them and communicate with them. Be more flexible and less pedantic and develop mutual respect. Quietly demonstrate great principles and values. Remember that timeless values are as relevant as always and many of the important things in life are caught and not taught. In this way you can become a valued confidante and advisor to your grandchildren, helping them to shape a satisfying life.

Jean Paul Sartre said: “What is important is not what happens to us, but how we respond to what happens to us.” How are you responding to the challenge of being a grandparent?