Nikki Bush was quoted extensively in an article entitled Born to be Wired (Born 2 B Y-D) in the Sunday Life Technology section. Journalist Edwin Naidu.

Dear Parents and Colleagues

WE MUST PLAY OUR PART TOO

It seems that campaigns by lobbying groups against indiscriminate marketing to children are starting to pay off with well-known corporations agreeing to change food formulations and marketing tactics to avoid facing law suits. Kellogg’s hit the headlines just this week, click here for details http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/settlement.htm. The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (CCFC) is now targeting the gaming industry regarding violence and children with the imminent release of Manhunt 2 (which has already been banned in the UK). Another coup late last year was the CFCC’s stand against the launch of the Pussycat Dolls by Hasbro http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/news/risquedolllimit.htm.

This is all positive and interesting stuff, however, as I say to parents in my Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter presentation, while these organisations are doing a great job on our behalf, it is only half of the battle won. We, as parents, have to take responsibility for what goes on in our own homes and backyards too. Here are some thoughts to ponder:

-Are we taking advantage of teachable moments to educate our children (billboard advertisements, inappropriate TV viewing etc)?
-Are we helping our children to select appropriate on-screen content?
-Are we limiting our children’s exposure to on-screen media and balancing it with real play experiences?
-Are we educating ourselves about the various media and communication channels our children are accessing or being accessed by (www.digitalads.org )
-Are we educating our children about marketing tactics? What is the marketer or advertiser is really selling and how are they doing it?
-Do these marketing messages fit in with our family values?
-Are we giving our children clear guidelines as to the unwritten ground rules that apply in our own homes (how we do things around here)?
-Are we spending enough time face-to-face with our children?
-Are we outsourcing child care or are we outsourcing actual parenting today?
-How well do we know our child? Do we know which buttons to press to engage him or her?

As a parent you are your child’s primary educator and principle purveyor of values. You are the role model and your child copies you. Are you walking your talk? Remember that we are living in the Age of the Image – children are taking their cues more from what they see than what they hear. This has huge ramifications for families for it is no longer a ‘do as I say world’, but a ‘do as I do world’. Our children are watching us. So are advertisers and marketers, who are competing for our leading role.

The world is as it is. The media and technology are not going to go away. It is a fact that we can no longer totally protect our children in a plug and play world. Today the world comes to you, with or without your permission. It interacts with your child too, much of the time with or without your permission (billboards and cellphones are good examples, for more see www.digitalads.org ). This also means that the world today is full of teachable moments. Are you going to avoid them or use them to educate and protect your child? Without a doubt, young children need to learn to discern from an extremely early age. The process of teaching your child to be discerning and media savvy is one of the ways in which you can help to keep them safe. This process starts with you, the parent – your preparedness to really engage with your child; the relationship you consciously set out to build with your child; the knowledge you acquire, and the skill with which you apply that knowledge to your parenting journey.

If there ever was a need to parent consciously, the time is NOW!

Learn how to cheat time – come to Parenting on the Run

Come and learn how to cheat time in this fun and interactive workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time.

Let me show you how to maximize time spent in the car; doing everyday household activities, or even waiting for appointments with your child. You can stimulate your child’s brain and connect emotionally even when you are on the run. I will also include my ever popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run. Connecting and communicating with your child can be so easy and mutually rewarding. For parents of 3 – 7 year olds.

DATE : Friday, 29 June 2007 from 9 – 11.30am OR

Saturday, 30 June 2007 from 9.30 – 12.00

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R150 per person (includes notes, a set of giant dice, a

R50.00 Toys R Us voucher, tea and eats)

TO BOOK : brightideas@powerpt.co.za

Comments from previous delegates:

“Many thanks for the fantastic Parenting on the Run workshop. Your practical suggestions have worked brilliantly for us. I have two very busy little boys (4 and 2) who are easily bored and distracted, but they are putty in my hands with my newfound “box of tricks”! Thanks for a really worthwhile experience.“ Kathleen Bartels

“I can’t believe that I don’t have to feel guilty about being busy anymore!” Audrey Stanley

“Parenting on the run is simpler than I realised. Anyone can do this.” Craig Aitken

“If parents put into practice just a handful of your ideas they would reinforce what we are teaching at pre-school and we would be referring fewer children for therapy. We need to get this message out to more parents.” Glynnis Courtney, Head of HeronBridge Pre-prep and chairlady of the ISASA preschool committee.

For more information on other talks and workshops, visit www.brightideasoutfit.com . I will be sending out dates for the following workshops soon:

Nuts & Bolts for Grannies
Connect the Tots
Nuts & Bolts for Parents

I will presenting Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter at the ACSI Conference (Association of Christian Schools International) and at a number of schools during July.

TOY NEWS

Throw & Blow to be launched in August

Exciting news! Our second mouth co-ordination game called Throw & Blow will be launched by Smile Education as part of their 2007 Christmas range at the end of August. Click here for more details: http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/2007/06/20/throw-blow-to-be-launched-in-august/

Make ‘n Break

If you have attended any of my workshops in the last year you will know how much I rave about this fabulous family game which entails building against the clock with 8 rectangular building blocks. This game is unavailable in South Africa but if you are travelling to the UK, clients of mine have found stock of it at John Lewis stores. It is made by Ravensburger. Suitable for children from 6 years – adult.

Yours in creative parenting

NIKKI BUSH

If we can get our heads around being responsible for creating own reality then we can have weekends in the middle of the week! No, this is not a bizarre notion, today was an example of that. I took Friday off – and that’s the great thing about living in the Age of Possibility. My four year old goddaughter arrived from Cape Town for a fleeting visit so I put aside all work for 24 hours to experience life through her eyes for a day. And it was well-worth it and such a refreshing experience! It was a reminder of what fun life can be when you’re only four and play is your primary language. Children really are a great excuse to break out of the “system”, whether that system is living up to “society’s expectations” or just your regular, daily routine.

By 8.30 in the morning we had dropped my two boys at school, chatted all the way home, had breakfast, baked for my nephew’s birthday party and had a swim. Oh, and during that time her future literate dad and I had an interesting chat (while I was stirring the pecan nuts into the carrot cake!) about ways of altering our quality of life and maintaining an income. It all boils down to having a vision and connecting the dots differently in order to get there. Children give us reasons to this. Do we want to spend more time with them and less time with our boss / clients? Do we want to decide how much playtime we have and when exactly we work? Do we want to be the heroes in our own stories and those of our children? How are we going to stand out from the crowd in an era where one must choose to be distinct or extinct (as management guru Tom Peters puts it), where it is no longer what you sell but who you are, and how and why you do things that will determine your success.

Anyway, back to my story. By 8.45am I was floating on a lilo in the pool, giggling with Olivia and gazing at the azure blue sky. I marvelled at how wonderful it was to have a flexible career that enabled me to break out of my usual routine and enjoy this precious moment. (Yes, even self-employed entrepreneurs get into routines and ruts that they find hard to break out of!). As an entrepreneur (of 13 years) I often work nights and weekends to make up for time spent with my family. I know of few employed people who have a 9 – 5 job these days and most of them are expected to work a 12 hour day even though they are paid no extra for it. If I am to truly enjoy the flexibility I have created for myself I also have to change my mind about taking time off. If I can’t have a full weekend each week, then I deserve to create off time during the week, and Friday was just one example of this.

This is a new kind of thinking that is so characteristic of the X-generation (born 70s -80s) in the workplace today, and is a concept that Ricardo Semler, of the renowned company, Semco in Brazil, has got his head around. This conglomerate, which has 24-hour factory operations in Brazil, is the non-US based company with the most case studies written about it for Ivy League business schools. In Semler’s book The Seven-Day Weekend, he outlines a plan to democratise work-life integration/balance. He poses the question we should all be asking: “Why not?”.

The concept behind the title of the book – a seven-day weekend – is not what you think. It isn’t about having a seven day weekend. It’s about recognising that in the 21st-century most of us, especially people in the professions and entrepreneurs, no longer get to have a traditional weekend – two consecutive days off in a week. We need to stop feeling guilty about this, but also realise that we do need to take some time out for ourselves and for our families and friends. So, what we need to do is find a way to have a weekend during every seven-day period. And that maybe means taking Tuesday morning off because I worked Saturday night.

“Flexibility is obviously one of the keywords in this type of approach. But there is a word of warning here: you are not being flexible if you work an extra half an hour every day so that you can take every second Friday afternoon off. That isn’t flexibility, that’s just a different deal – a different type of contract. If you claim to be flexible, then you need to be flexible. Flexibility means being able to take Wednesday morning off because your child is sick. Flexibility means being able to leave at lunchtime on Thursday to take your dog to the vet, and working extra hours in on Friday to make up for it. Flexibility is not about a new type of schedule – rather it is about freedom, choice and the ability to respond to circumstances,” says futurist Dr Graeme Codrington, who is a business and strategy consultant with TomorrowToday.biz.

Children give us reasons to break out of the system. Their arrival brings with it all kinds of chaos that could never be anticipated, and for each family this will be different. Children often present their parents with opportunities to make decisions about work/life integration requiring a lot of soul searching and introspection. Here is one such example:

When my eldest son was Ryan was just 3 years old, I had been going through a particularly busy few months with my direct selling team. We were doing very well, breaking our sales targets each month, and I was working towards earning an incentive trip to the tropical island of the Comores. Now, to put you in the picture, we were selling educational toys to parents and I did this by educating parents on the importance of playing with their children. Needless to say, as I was so busy working towards my goal that quality playtime with my own son was diminishing by the day, the closer we got to the end of the qualification time.

I will never forget one afternoon while I was throwing a meal together in the kitchen, answering a dozen phone calls and completing countless orders, all at the same time. My 3 year old son looked me straight in the eye and pronounced: “Mummy, you so boring (pronounced boarwing).” It was as if Ryan had actually slapped my face. The truth cut through me like a knife and in that moment I knew I was being called to make a very important decision, as much for his good as my own. I spent the next four months considering my options. A threatened miscarriage with my second child finalized my decision to quit a position where I had learnt what I could learn and had reached an income ceiling. This decision opened up a whole new avenue for expressing my talents and abilities, building on everything that I had done to date, but in a more creative and flexible way that enabled me to be true to my values as a parent and to my vision of myself in my various roles of wife, mother and businesswoman.

Such moments cause us to take a breather and look deep inside ourselves. What do we want out of life? What kind of life do we want for our children? What kind of old age do we want? All these questions deserve serious thought but they must also be framed in a relevant context. Today, looking back doesn’t give us much guidance. We need to be forward looking and taking our cues from what we know of the future, and not just our future but the one our children will inherit too.

We can create our own reality if we are prepared to take full responsibility for every move we make in this new Game of Possibility that we are playing. The choice is ours.
“You are the storyteller of your own life and you can create your own legend or not.”
Isabel Allende, novelist.

Dear Parents and Colleagues

I presented Connecting with Children through the Noise and Clutter at a local school last week, and I asked the audience to raise their hands if they had experienced the following feeling recently – “Stop the world I want to get off!” Surprise, surprise, the majority of the audience raised their hands. We are living with a sense that time has speeded up and yet we still have the same 24 hours each day. What has changed, however, is the rate of change and amount of change that we are having to assimilate – on a daily basis. Just one current issue of the New York Times contains more information about changes than an average farmer from the early nineteenth century would experience in a lifetime. There are days when we have to learn new things not just by the day but by the hour in order to keep up, and it exhausts us. It is becoming increasingly clear that this rapid change is not just a phase that we are going through, but rather, it seems to be the new reality. We need to learn how to survive and thrive in a constantly shifting environment, where rules are made, changed and broken on an ongoing basis in this new Game of Possibility with which we are engaged. For more on this click here http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/2007/02/06/newsletter-january-2007/.

Now think about a preschool child who so able to cope with change and continual learning, in fact every day is an adventure of epic proportions. Admittedly they do take an afternoon nap which helps keep them balanced. Wouldn’t we all do well to have a little siesta each day – bring on those power naps! These little explorers are actually carrying round within them a natural blueprint for success in the 21st century. Let’s look at just some of the characteristics with which preschoolers are so naturally imbued:
- Inquisitiveness and curiosity about their world and how it works
- They are natural explorers
- Physical learners (they create understanding and meaning by trying things out for
themselves, by doing)
- Original thinkers and highly creative (anything is possible)
- Love learning (can’t get enough of it)
- Are not afraid of failure (no matter how high the couch is or how far they may tumble)
- Adaptable and resilient (there are many more characteristics!)

As parents, we need to ensure that these characteristics are nurtured and kept alive throughout our children’s education and not just in the preschool years. If you can preserve them then it also means that you are probably practicing and role modelling most of them yourself – you have become future literate – you are a player in the Game of Possibility and your child will become a professional player too.

Alvin Toffler, futurist and author of the classic Future Shock (written in 1970) was deadly accurate when he said:

“The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.”

In her book Seven Times Smarter veteran US educator Laurel Schmidt says:

“Curiosity is the best toy in the store”.

If we can rekindle our sense of curiosity and learn to not only to ask “Why?”, but “Why not?”, then we might not want to stop the world and get off. In an era where anything is possible, we can become the creators of our own reality, and there is nothing more challenging and exciting than that!

For more on this topic watch out for the book Dr Graeme Codrington and I are co-authoring on 21st century parenting. I will keep you posted on the publication date – at this stage not before end 2007, but you can watch this newsletter and my website for snippets.

WORKSHOPS – WINTER SERIES IN MAY 2007

These workshops are filling up fast. A reminder of the dates:

Nuts & Bolts Workshop
Parents of under 5s
Wednesday, 9 May 2007 9.00 – 11.30am R150.00 per person

Connect the Tots Workshop
Parents of children from birth to 6 years
Wednesday,16 May 10:00 – 11.30am R75.00 per person
Thursday, 17 May 7.30 – 9.00pm R75.00 per person

Parenting on the Run Workshop
Parents of children from 4 – 7 years
Saturday, 26 May 2007 9.00 – 11.30 R150.00 per person

Our Toy Season series at the end of 2006 was oversubscribed. Please remember that payment secures your seat, so book soon to avoid disappointment. Refunds will be entertained up until two weeks prior to each talk. Thereafter, payment is non-refundable.

Watch out for the continuation of the Winter Series in June.

REMSPECED

Paula Barnard, occupational therapist, OT lecturer at Wits University and a long-time colleague of mine, sends out a very interesting online newsletter covering remedial and special education issues in South Africa. To take a look log on to: www.remspeced.co.za. There is also a print edition coming out every second month (starting February 2007) available free of charge in waiting rooms of your local OT, NDT physiotherapist, speech therapist, psychologist etc. l will be writing a regular column touching on issues I am passionate about – helping parents connect with their kids. This 20-24 page magazine will be full of interesting articles, tips and insights to help parents cope with their child who requires additional support in learning, developing and behaviour.

GAME/TOY REVIEWS

1. Zingo (ages 4 and up)

This is a junior bingo game with a very nifty dispenser for the sturdy plastic bingo tiles. This is essentially picture bingo with the words printed beneath the pictures for sight reading. The first person to cover his or her board yells out Zingo! Thoroughly enjoyed by children from 4 – 7. It’s a game that stimulates visual discrimination and matching skills and requires concentration and speed to win. Priced at R120.00+, it’s available at both large toy stores and independents. To view the game or to find out where to get it, log on to www.ttdistributors.co.za. Think Tank Distributors also supplies the following well-known games: Rush Hour, Rush Hour Jr, Safari Rush Hour, River Crossing, River Crossing Jr, Subtrax, Tipover, Toot and Otto and Smart Mouth).

2. Blokus (ages 7 to adult)This strategy game carries a golden seal stating that it is the most awarded game of the 21st century. As we are only at the beginning of this century, I guess it doesn’t have much competition yet. I decided to take a look to see what these claims were all about. Well, this is a must have game that will make it onto my ‘Classics’ list of games every child should have! For a preview of Blokus, go to www.blokus.com where you can play against the computer, obtain advice on the game, place orders for lost pieces, meet other players and see your international ranking! Wow!

Seriously, this is a game for the whole family involving chess-type thinking but in a faster game format. The goal is to strategically place as many of your 21 differently shaped Perspex pieces on the board as possible. The only rule is that you may only place a new piece on the board if it touches another piece of the same colour but only at the corners. Pieces of the same colour cannot be in contact along a straight edge. There are no set moves and every game is different. No reading is required to play this game. It is about thinking skills, problem solving and strategy.

This is a game for two to four players. The age guideline on the box is accurate – from age 7 to adult. Both my children aged 7 and 11 thoroughly enjoyed it and we all wanted to play again and again. The Blokus game board and playing pieces are of a very high quality. Blokus is distributed by Pegasus Toys www.pegasustoys.co.za and retails at R275.00+.

Keep on connecting with your kids!

NIKKI BUSH

Dear Clients and Colleagues

We are already one twelfth of the way through 2007, ‘007 for short, or the James Bond Year! When it comes to James Bond anything is possible – anyone, anything, anywhere, anytime – kind of like the world we are living in today – full of chaos and change but definitely the Age of Possibility.

In our connected world a massive shift in power has begun – from governments and corporations over to individuals like you and me. We will increasingly have the power to create our own reality (anyone, anything, anywhere, anytime) by influencing and shaping the world we live in. Take China for example, which is not a democratic country. The Pop Idols TV show gave the Chinese people their first real taste of democracy when over 8-million votes were received via SMS from cellphones belonging to individual viewers. They were shaping their reality regardless of their government’s ideology. With personal computers and cellphones linked to the internet, it has become a plug and play world. If you can plug in you can play, that is the only barrier to entry. The new game called Possibility comes with new rules. Playing the new game without adopting new rules and adapting old ones may leave you standing on the sidelines watching the game.

James Bond always starts off his missions with some inside intelligence from MI6 and thereafter he creates and breaks the rules along the way. His mission is always clear but how he is going to achieve it only unveils itself in the moment. Our mission as parents and teachers is to facilitate, mentor and coach our children to prepare them for the future by showing them how to play The Game of Possibility.

Futurist Dr Graeme Codrington and I are in the throes of completing a book on parenting in the 21st century precisely to give you some intelligence so that you can play The Game of Possibility with your children. When individuals hold the power – whether or not they use it and how they use it – is dependent on their values and worldview. This is why children need parental input today. Taking personal responsibility for all the moves you make in The Game of Possibility becomes the number one rule, which is why parents will need knowledge, insight and understanding about the future.

Our book will help you to create a framework for your parenting experience as you embark on the adventure of a lifetime, that of raising the next generation of talent. It will answer these questions:

 What do parents need to know about tomorrow, today?
 Why do they need to know this?
 What action do they need to take?

TALKS & WORKSHOPS

Due to the writing deadlines for the parenting book discussed above, I will not be hosting talks again until May. My Winter Series kicks off with the following (see attached flyers for details):

Nuts & Bolts Workshop
Parents of under 5s
Wednesday, 9 May 2007 9.00 – 11.30am R150.00 per person

Connect the Tots Workshop
Parents of children from birth to 6 years
Wednesday,16 May 10.00 – 11.30am R75.00 per person
Thursday, 17 May 7.30 – 9.00pm R75.00 per person

Parenting on the Run Workshop
Parents of children from 4 – 7 years
Saturday, 26 May 2007 9.00 – 11.30 R150.00 per person

Our Toy Season series at the end of 2006 was oversubscribed. Please remember that payment secures your seat, so book soon to avoid disappointment. Refunds will be entertained up until two weeks prior to each talk. Thereafter, payment is non-refundable.

FEEDBACK FROM MY RADIO INTERVIEW ON SAFM ABOUT TOY TALK

After my interview in November last year on SAFM’s Afternoon Talk, I was left with two recurring thoughts based on the comments or questions the callers had:

1. Many people think about toys in terms of an object that does something to entertain the child. I prefer to think about toys like this:
• How can my child play with this or what can my child do with this toy or game?
• In how many different ways can this game or toy be played?
• For how many months/years will this toy or game be relevant in my child’s life

This is how I determine the value of a toy. Anything that winks and blinks and can only be played with in a limited or prescriptive way, or a toy that does all the entertaining without engaging the child, is a toy that is not worth my investment.

Yes, I hear you! We sometimes need toys that will distract and entertain our children while we get on with what we have to do, and you’re right. But these toys need to make up a very small percentage of your child’s toy box. If children are constantly entertained they will not learn how to play or learn how to entertain themselves. Without such skills they will constantly seek out your attention because they are bored, requiring ever more stimulation. So invest your time and wisely and early on to avoid landing up in a Catch-22 situation.

2. Our awareness of what’s available in the toy and game market is often limited to big brands that advertise.

Comments were made about the high cost of toys as mentioned in a Sunday Time article a few weeks prior to my interview. Most of the toys highlighted in the article were well known characters and brands. Brands and licenced characters attract a premium. You don’t have to buy them! More often than not there is a cheaper equivalent available, saving you anywhere from 30 – 50%, if you are prepared to buy unbranded goods for your child. Having spent many hours roaming the aisles of both large and small toy stores in preparation for Toy Talk 2006, I am also in a position to tell you that there are many excellent games and toys available at under R99.00 that would give children many hours of fun and learning. You can cut your coat according to your cloth and it is possible to bring up young children who are not hooked on particular characters, eg Spiderman, Barney, Power Rangers etc. It largely depends on how much they are exposed to the character and how much attention you pay to that character.

If you have very young children under the age of 5, attend the Nuts & Bolts Workshop where you will discover that by playing with core classic toys in an interactive way with your child, you don’t need a licensed character to make it fun – you are the character! A young child’s world today can be dominated Barney, Barbie, Spiderman etc, which are shaping and influencing them constantly, as I explain in detail in my presentation Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter. Committing yourself to playing creatively with your little one at least once a week, is one way of balancing the noise & clutter in their world. You, the parent, can still remain the best toy in the store!

EXCITING PRODUCTS FOR 10 YEAR OLDS AND UP – MYTH AND LEGEND BOARD GAMESAnd now for something totally different! Eco Kids, the toy shop in Lonehilll, has imported a range of unusual board games for older children, based on myth and legend. Eco Kids owner, Silke Ceruti (previously a judge in the Toy of the Year Awards) has provided a review of the following interesting games which retail from R279.00 upwards http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/2007/02/01/myth-and-legend-boardgames-for-older-children/:
• Carcassone
• Maharaja
• Ticket to Ride
• Lost Cities
• Lord of the Rings

TO READ ON MY WEBSITE

THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, BABY EINSTEIN AND YOU
……………It’s easy to seduce parents into purchasing by offering them something that will help them to make their children brighter and more successful. As I reiterate in all my talks and presentations to parents, gen yourself up with some basic knowledge about early childhood learning, then use your common sense when it comes to choosing appropriate toys and games (including video, computer and Playstation games.) Remember that babies and young children were born to move in order to explore and discover the world around them. For learning to have any meaning the child must use his physical body to experience his world. Occupational and physiotherapists tell us that the body is the architect of the brain, so encourage your baby to move rather than leaving him or her sitting in front of the goggle box. For the full story: http://www.brightideasoutfit.com/2007/01/29/the-president-of-the-united-states-baby-einstein-and-you/

May 2007 be your James Bond year! Stay connected to your children and remember that anything is possible.

NIKKI BUSH
The Bright Ideas Outfit
083 265 5754
brightideas@powerpt.co.za
www.brightideasoutfit.com