The world has changed. The future has changed. Childhood is changing. Raising children has never been more challenging – or potentially rewarding. This presentation is suitable for anyone involved in raising children, from parents to teachers, aunts, uncles, grandparents and even parents to be.

Nikki Bush, creative parenting expert and author, explores what you need to know about tomorrow’s world and what you need to do to prepare today’s children for a world that doesn’t yet exist. The focus is on understanding the future, creating appropriate structures and developing characteristics in your children (and yourself) that will help them face anything that life might throw at them. Raising children who will “be talent” is to raise children who are going to have what it takes not just to survive this new world, but who will be able to shape and influence it too. To be successful in the future, our children need to be “future-proofed” by influential adults (primarily their parents and teachers) in the foundation phase of their lives – from birth to age 10 – before they enter puberty.

This thought provoking multimedia presentation will introduce you to the X-factors required for success in 2020 and beyond, providing many practical ideas to help children to develop them from an early age. It will highlight the critical importance of making choices, having conversations and choosing to consciously connect with tomorrow’s children today.

This presentation has been developed by Nikki Bush and Dr Graeme Codrington who have co-authored the book Future-proof Your Child, due for release by Penguin on 1 October 2008. 

Dear Clients & Colleagues

“Play is the foundation of creative intelligence, but like any intelligence it must be developed, in keeping with nature’s model imperative. The child who is played with will learn to play. The child who is not played with will be unable to play and be at risk on every level.” Joseph Chilton Pearce, Evolution’s End (1993)

Since my last newsletter I have become the mother of a teenager! My son Ryan turned 13 this month and now towers well over an inch above me and has a size 11 shoe (yes, his dad is 6ft5” tall!). My wired son now sms’s the landline to tell me when he is in bed and ready to be tucked in. I got the giggles the other night when this American voicemail voice came down the line saying: “Are you coming any time soon?” Cheeky boy!

We are loving watching all Ryan’s friends turn into teens and what a great group of kids they are. We organised a Mad Food Party for 17 thirteen year olds the other day and they had a ball trying to decode their menus and ordering the strangest of concoctions. For first course one child ordered a knife, fork, spoon, salt and pepper (Neptune’s Trident, Mugger’s Delight, Medium Shovel, Savoury Rock and Hot Sneeze)! Many received ice cream with mayonnaise on the side and a sosatie for mains (Eskimo Milk, Tangy Dipper and Pierced Hen) with no utensils at all, and still others found themselves eating salad with chocolate sauce and yellow rice for dessert (Bunny’s Brunch, Solid Cocoa and Lello Lice), with a toothpick. In between we played some hilarious games and then the boys kept asking for more. It just goes to show that big kids stilll wanna play and have fun! Just because they are growing up and are part of the wired generation doesn’t mean they have outgrown the need or desire to play. And this is why I have developed the Big Kid Fun© Workshop for parents of children from eight years to teens (yes, I will teach you the hilarious games we played at the party too!).

I was relieved of all mothering duties last weekend as my husband took our boys off to the Desert Rally in Botswana with a couple of mates and their sons. They camped out in the middle of nowhere, not showering on cleaning their teeth for two days and nights. They watched the cars, bikes and quads come racing by, got absolutely filthy from playing one, two, three block in the bush and returned with a patchwork quilt of thorn scratches on their legs. The dads say it is amazing how the boys never whinge and are so brave when mum isn’t around! It was really good ‘boy fun’ for Father’s Day, that has become an annual tradition for these lads and dads, proving the point that there’s nothing as rewarding as making fun out of nothing. When there are no toys, nature provides all the inspiration for wholesome fun. Space and nature is something children, and boys in particular, yearn for. It is a rare commodity in our world of high density living and the limitations placed on our children’s freedom to explore the outdoors due to security issues.

What family traditions are you creating that your children will be able to reminisce about around a campfire one day? Are you making the time to get your children ‘out’ and away from the lure of the multimedia home entertainment centre that has become more than just the babysitter but a perceived bodyguard? And if you can’t get out, get playing. Here is something you can start with………………………..

BIG KID FUN© WORKSHOPS

Big Kid Fun© is for all those parents (and grandparents) who have been asking “What next? What do we do with our children over the age of seven?” Big Kid Fun© is a workshop designed for families with 8 – 99 year olds who love to have fun. It is a very interactive workshop that will consist of a small amount of theory – the importance of play and staying connected with your children – and a lot of Big Kid Fun©. Yes, you will play a lot including some hilarious games you have never heard of! You will be reminded of all the fun to be had with a simple deck of cards, then you will tantalise your tastebuds with some heavenly winter desserts, tea and coffee, afterwhich I will take you through my top family games (classics and those that are hot right now). Big kids of all ages still wanna play and have fun. Join us for an entertaining and inspiring 3 hour workshop.

DATE & TIME (choose one date): Wednesday, 16 July, 7 – 10pm, Thursday, 17 July, 9am – 12pm Wednesday, 23 July, 7 – 10pm Wednesday, 30 July, 7 – 10pm Thursday, 31 July, 7 – 10pm

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R300.00 per person including workshop, notes, refreshments and lucky draws)

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za

PARENTING ON THE RUN© WORKSHOP

Come and learn how to cheat time in this interactive 2 ½ hour workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time. I will show you how to maximize time spent in the car; doing everyday household activities, or even waiting for appointments with your child.

I will also include my ever-popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run. Your child need never be bored and you can always connect no matter where you are or what you are doing. Connecting and communicating your child can be so easy. Join the quest to become a more creative and effective parent. Suitable for parents with children from 2 – 8 (although all ideas are relevant right up to teens!).

DATE & TIME: Tuesday, 22 July 2008, 9 – 11.30am

VENUE : 6 Lombardi Lane, Douglasdale

COST : R250.00 per person including notes, refreshments and lucky draws

BOOKINGS : brightideas@powerpt.co.za

Keep on playing and connecting with your precious children!

NIKKI BUSH

The Bright Ideas Outfit

Dear Parents & Colleagues

Today was a big day – Graeme Codrington and I signed our publishing contract with Penguin! Our long awaited book on 21st century parenting will be published in October this year (final title as yet unknown). It takes a look at what parents need to know about tomorrow today, why they need to know this and what they need to do to prepare their children for the world of the future – a world that doesn’t yet exist. It introduces a parenting framework around conversation, connection and choice that will provide our children with some form of stability in a constantly changing world. We are really excited about this project. Our talks touch on many aspects contained within the book and we can’t wait to share this information with you in expanded form. I will, of course, have a new multimedia presentation available later in the year focussing on core issues within the book.

On this celebratory note, and better late than never, may I wish you an exciting year ahead with the children you parent or those you care for or teach. As children constantly change and grow we need to make creative adjustments to the way we parent, lead and guide them. What worked last year won’t necessarily work this year – and you thought you had it all waxed! We also need to keep up with the changing times and technology. Today, my 12 year old son Ryan was studying for his Economics & Management Sciences test. We were doing multi-coloured mind maps on my flipchart and then ran out of time for him to reproduce smaller versions in an A4 format. No problem, Ryan whipped out newly acquired very first cellphone (of which he is extremely proud) and proceeded to photograph the mind maps so that he can go through them again on the way to school tomorrow! Pretty nifty thinking there I thought. Good use of technology.

I look forward to continuing to share experiences and swop ideas with you in my talks and workshops this year. To all you busy parents, don’t miss the next Parenting on the Run workshops……………..

PARENTING ON THE RUN

Come and learn how to cheat time in this interactive workshop. Leave armed with over 100 creative and practical ideas for converting what you would normally consider wasted time with your children, into quality time.

Nikki Bush will show you how to maximize time spent in the car; doing everyday household activities, or even waiting for appointments with your child. You can stimulate your child’s brain and connect emotionally even when you are on the run. Nikki will also include her ever-popular suggestions on toys to pack for travelling, or for when you are simply on the run.

Connecting and communicating your child can be so easy.

DATE & TIMES:  29 February 2008 or 1 March 2008, both 9 – 11.30am

VENUE           :  Miele Lifestyle Gallery, Peter Place, Bryanston

COST             : R200.00 per person

Bookings for all the above workshops is essential. Email your bookings to brightideas@powerpt.co.za.

“I can’t believe that I don’t have to feel guilty about being busy anymore!” Audrey Stanley

“Many thanks for the fantastic Parenting on the Run workshop. Your practical suggestions have worked brilliantly for us. I have two very busy little boys (4 and 2) who are easily bored and distracted, but they are putty in my hands with my newfound “box of tricks”! “ Kathleen Bartels

For testimonials open the attached invitation or visit www.brightideasoutfit.com and click on FEEDBACK.

LIVING & LOVING/STANDARD BANK MOMPRENEUR FUNCTIONS

I will be speaking in Johannesburg, Durban, Bloemfontein and Cape Town at the Living & Loving/Standard Bank Mompreneur functions over the next month or so, presenting a mini one hour version of Parenting on the Run. These seminars are aimed at mums who are also entrepreneurs. There will be two other speakers: Iona Minton on Financial Fitness for Women and Helen Nicholson on Learning to Master the Art of Networking. If you are interested in attending, call 0860 105 945 to book your seat now.

Keep having fun connecting with your children.

Kind regards

NIKKI BUSH www.brightideasoutfit.com

Article written by Nikki Bush as it appeared in the remedial and special education magazine REMSPECED in the April/May 2007 issue:

We live in a society that is hell bent on perfection – the perfect figure, the perfect outfit, the perfect car, house, boyfriend, wife, the whitest Smile, perfect children and the list goes on. As consumers we demand goods of the highest quality and we will be the first to complain if they are not. We are surrounded by images of society’s take on perfection and we often don’t quite make the grade so we commit ourselves to the pursuit of chasing perfection. This is all well and good until we become parents and we are knocked sideways by sleepless nights, babies that won’t eat, childhood illnesses, two-year old tantrums, three-year old wannabes, feisty four-year olds and belligerent adolescents. Lots of less than perfect situations, which often show up how out of control things can get and may reflect badly on our “perfect image”!

Life is not perfect, in fact real life has moments real of guts and gore – physically and emotionally. Things don’t always go right and we are not permanently happy. Life is a journey, not a destination, and we often need to stay on the floor for long enough to learn the lessons before dusting ourselves off, getting up and moving on again. We have to get this notion of perfection out of our heads and replace it with the word ‘workable’. Workable is much more forgiving and attainable, and will lead to less disappointment especially as we live our lives on the run today. Workable is doing what is able to be done, working within more realistic parameters, combining the head and heart.

Our preoccupation with perfection has its place in certain instances, but not everything needs to be of the highest standard. Sometimes near enough is good enough, unless you are a parachute maker or a manufacturer of condoms, says Michael Grose, parenting author and guru, in his book Working Parents.

For those of us with children in therapy we are called to be patient and tolerant as our children display their “imperfections” everyday – at home or in the classroom. Remember that the aim of therapy is first and foremost, to create functionality in a certain area where your child is challenged or experiencing difficulty. Once functionality has been achieved only then does your child’s therapist start working on the quality or grading of the child’s performance. In many instances often near enough is good enough and you will notice what a huge difference these improvements make to your child mentally, physically and emotionally, even though they are not perfect. These achievements are to be celebrated and deeply appreciated for they are the result of a huge amount of effort and teamwork. When a child overcomes a difficulty it can be so rewarding to the entire family who have invested themselves in the therapy, in the reinforcement that takes place through exercises at home as well as their emotional encouragement and support for the child who is in therapy.

Having children in therapy gives us an opportunity to take stock and realise that there is unbelievable beauty even when little bodies and brains don’t work as perfectly as they should. If we can see our children’s challenges as opportunities to grow ourselves on every level, then we soon realise that the road to “near enough is good enough” is well worth the journey!

Doing reinforcement exercises with your child at home provides you with quality time and a wonderful window of opportunity to connect with your child in ways other parents don’t. Use the time to get to know your child’s personality better. It’s a time to encourage and show how much you believe in your child, laying down the foundations for the personal qualities of self-belief, good self-esteem and perseverance. Children who have been handled positively in therapy by both the therapist and the family often become extremely resilient, one of the most important prerequisites for a successful life in the 21st century. I wish you patience (for all good things take time), perseverance and wisdom on your journey to “workable”. And remember that most of the time, near enough is good enough.

It seems that campaigns by lobbying groups against indiscriminate marketing to children are starting to pay off with well-known corporations agreeing to change food formulations and marketing tactics to avoid facing law suits. Kellogg’s hit the headlines just this week, click here for details http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/settlement.htm. The Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood (CCFC) is now targeting the gaming industry regarding violence and children with the imminent release of Manhunt 2 (which has already been banned in the UK). Another coup late last year was the CFCC’s stand against the launch of the Pussycat Dolls by Hasbro http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org/news/risquedolllimit.htm.

This is all positive and interesting stuff, however, as I say to parents in my Connecting with Children through the Noise & Clutter presentation, while these organisations are doing a great job on our behalf, it is only half of the battle won. We, as parents, have to take responsibility for what goes on in our own homes and backyards too. Here are some thoughts to ponder:

- Are we taking advantage of teachable moments to educate our children (billboard advertisements, inappropriate TV viewing etc)?
- Are we helping our children to select appropriate on-screen content?
- Are we limiting our children’s exposure to on-screen media and balancing it with real play experiences?
- Are we educating ourselves about the various media and communication channels our children are accessing or being accessed by (www.digitalads.org )
- Are we educating our children about marketing tactics? What is the marketer or advertiser is really selling and how are they doing it?
- Do these marketing messages fit in with our family values?
- Are we giving our children clear guidelines as to the unwritten ground rules that apply in our own homes (how we do things around here)?
- Are we spending enough time face-to-face with our children?
- Are we outsourcing child care or are we outsourcing actual parenting today?
- How well do we know our child? Do we know which buttons to press to engage him or her?

As a parent you are your child’s primary educator and principle purveyor of values. You are the role model and your child copies you. Are you walking your talk? Remember that we are living in the Age of the Image – children are taking their cues more from what they see than what they hear. This has huge ramifications for families for it is no longer a ‘do as I say world’, but a ‘do as I do world’. Our children are watching us. So are advertisers and marketers, who are competing for our leading role.

The world is as it is. The media and technology are not going to go away. It is a fact that we can no longer totally protect our children in a plug and play world. Today the world comes to you, with or without your permission. It interacts with your child too, much of the time with or without your permission (billboards and cellphones are good examples, for more see www.digitalads.org ). This also means that the world today is full of teachable moments. Are you going to avoid them or use them to educate and protect your child? Without a doubt, young children need to learn to discern from an extremely early age. The process of teaching your child to be discerning and media savvy is one of the ways in which you can help to keep them safe. This process starts with you, the parent – your preparedness to really engage with your child; the relationship you consciously set out to build with your child; the knowledge you acquire, and the skill with which you apply that knowledge to your parenting journey.

If there ever was a need to parent consciously, the time is NOW!